by Edith Boyer-Telmer
I was just about to share another article with you caring more details and insides, that there might be a western shaman in more of us than are aware, when I remembered the autobiographical book “The sum of the days” by Isabel Allende. The reason that it popped into my mind is Allende’s beautiful report about her experience with Ayahuasca (an ancestral shamanic medicine used by native people in the Amazon rain forest), and the conclusions she came up with. Now don’t get me wrong please, I am not a fan of the whole world drinking Ayahuasca, I feel it should be part of your calling if you meet this plant master. Also it would not work for everyone like it did for her (you will read that her husband had a very different impression), why it was that intense for her on the first shot – is because she already had the traits of a shaman in her!!!
One thing that I particularly remembered is how she describes so beautifully how it is the work of the inner alchemist, that transforms the energetic world of the medicine into daily experience in life. Grounding, integrating and self-mastering are the keys when we are working with the realms of the otherworld. And this is where the cycle closes and today’s Taurus Super New Moon influence completes the picture, as this are all qualities this moon event is providing! Use your shamanic abilities and connect with the wave of this collective movement and the moon will do the rest for you!!
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This is the excerpt of her book, describing the experience:
I needed to become again the girl I once was, that silent girl tortured by her own imagination, wandering like a shadow in my grandfather’s house. I knew I should demolish my rational defenses and open the mind and heart. And for this I decided to have the shamanic experience of Ayahuasca, a brew that the Amazon Indians are using to produce visions.
We drank a dark tea that tasted disgusting, just 1/3 cup, but so bitter and fetid it was almost impossible to swallow. At 15 minutes after it was taken, I failed having physical balance and settled on the floor, where I could not move anymore. I panicked and called Willie, who managed to crawl to me, and I held his hand like a lifeline in the worst possible storm. He could not speak or open his eyes. I got lost in a whirlwind of geometric shapes and shining bright colors that were fascinating at first and then heavy. I felt that I gave up on my body, my heart broke, and I plunged into a terrible anguish. Then I went back to being the girl trapped between the demons of the mirrors and the bores of the curtains.
Soon the colors appeared again, faded away and the black stone that lay almost forgotten in my chest, threatening as some mountains of Bolivia – came up. I knew I had to get it out of my way or die. I tried to climb it but it was slippery, I wanted to turn around and it was huge, I began to tear apart while the task seamed endless and remembered that growing up I was certain that the rock contained all the evil in the world, and was full of demons. I do not know how long I was in that state, the time has nothing to do with time clocks.
Suddenly I felt an electric jolt of energy, that gave me a formidable kick from the floor and I rose above the rock. I went back for a moment to my physical body; bent in disgust, groped the bucket I had at my left hand and threw up bile. Nausea, thirst, sand in my mouth, paralysis. I perceived, or understood, what my grandmother always said: space is full of presences and everything happens simultaneously. There were superimposed and transparent images, like those printed in sheets of acetate in science books.
I wandered through gardens where plants grew with threatening fleshy leaves, large mushrooms sweated poison, evil flowers. I saw a girl about 4 years old, shrunken, terrified; I reached over to lift her up and it was me. Different times and people of my life moved from one sheet to another. I met with me, at different times and in other lives. I met an old woman gray-haired, tiny, but upright and shining eyes; It could have also been me in a few years, but I’m not sure, because the old woman was in the midst of a confused crowd.
Another recurring picture was the history, the memory of the soul that integrates its multiplicity, its river of blood, its “spirit house” that lies buried in the unconscious. That divine memory of the earth and the stars that led Plato to say that “all learning is only memory”. And in Ayahuasca it is part of the process of peace, forgiveness and liberation that human beings must achieve to leave this peaceful home and take the spiritual flight. The journey of Ayahuasca, as a mysterious figure in medicine, as a microcosm of creation, repeats the soul’s journey into the world of the generations, separation from divinity, forgetfulness, but then also the awakening, the rise to the luminous spheres to the infinite, merging with our divinity, which is achieved through the death of the material plane, even if only for one ceremony.Soon that universe populated, vanished and went into a white and silent space. Hanging in the air, it was an eagle with its large wings spread, supported by the breeze, seeing the world from above, and free. There was this big bird for a long time and then I went to another place, even more glorious, where all form disappeared and there was nothing but spirit. I dissolved into inner silence. If I had the slightest awareness or desire, I would have sad, Paula.
Much later I saw a small circle, like a silver coin, and from there I headed off like an arrow. I crossed the gap and entered effortlessly into an absolute vacuum, a gray translucent and deep. There was no feeling, single spirit, or lower individual consciousness; however what I felt was a divine and absolute presence. A thousand years later I returned, exhausted as a pilgrim, the reality known by the same way he had come to leave, but in reverse: I crossed the small silver moon, I floated in the eagles space, I went down to the white sky, I sank into psychedelic images and finally entered my poor body.
In his experience with the Ayahuasca, Willie did not ascend to glory or death, he stayed in a bureaucratic purgatory, moving papers, until he passed the effect of the medicine a few hours later. Meanwhile I was lying on the floor, where he settled after me with pillows and blankets, shivering, mumbling incoherently and increasingly often throwing up a white foam. At first I was agitated, but then was relaxed and motionless, I did not seem to suffer, sad Willie.
Finally the process of assimilation, reintegration, of being able to wear this jewelry from the depth of the earth, to fulfill the arc of vision, of making the individuals path of divine will occur. The possibility of transformation that becomes clear from observing eternity, which is immutable, to comprehend the supreme reality of spirit and trust the unity that embraces all beings. The third day, already aware, I spent lying on my bed reliving every moment of this extraordinary journey. I knew I could already write a trilogy.
The adventure with the drug seized me something that I can only define as love and a sense of unity: I dissolved into the divine, I felt that there was no separation between me and the rest of what exists, everything was light and silence. I was with the certainty that we are spirits, and that the material is illusory, something that can not be proven rationally, but that I sometimes also have experienced briefly in moments of exaltation before nature, intimacy with someone loved or meditation.
I finally accepted that in this human life my totem animal is the eagle, the bird which in my visions floated watching everything from a great distance. That distance is what allows me to tell stories, because I can see the angles and horizons. It seems I was born to tell and tell. My body ached, but I’ve never been more lucid.Of all the adventures of my hectic existence, the only one that can be compared to this visit to the dimension of the shamans was your death, my daughter Paula. On both occasions happened something inexplicable and deep, that transformed me. I never again been the same after your last night and this powerful potion to drink: I lost my fear of death and eternity, and of the spirit truly experienced.
Dear Ones, allow me to repeat again, that I am not a fan of “the whole world drinking Ayahuasca”!! My experience rather showed me that it is a medicine for people who hear an inner call from her spirit and follow this call, not for everybody at all! But what I hope that you can take with you from Allende’s beautiful sharing of her experience is, that we must be willing to allow a death experience – in order to come to the higher vibrating levels of inner light and divine bliss. That is a natural part of the shamanic path of ascension! And maybe you can even go as far as giving permission to today’s Taurus New Moon, to ground all of your spirit into your physical body. So you may become today, a BEING of the Golden Age of Aquarius.
Shamanic Greetings an New Moon Blessings!
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