This is an excerpt from the article “Pornography Verses Conscious Sexuality”, from Stella Muse:
The Art of Lovemaking
Conscious sex leads to LOVE making. Learning the art of lovemaking, of intimacy and connection with your partner beyond diving direct into genital stimulation is so empowering personally and in a couple. When my clients realize this, learn and practice this they express there is no longer a desire for porn as it doesn’t satisfy like love does.
Being conscious means being present, totally and utterly in the moment; with yourself if it is self pleasure or with your beloved if you are enjoying together. You are not distracted, thinking about the ‘to do’ list from the day, neither are you worrying about how your body looks in the light or if some part of you is big enough or small enough. None of these ‘personality’ driven thoughts are given any attention. Instead, that mind power is channeled into presence and thus love for your beloved. As you let go of everything else you loosen, you relax, you soften and open to melt into them and the moment. Being fully in the here and now on a regular basis with yourself first and foremost through practices such as meditation, yoga, floating and mindfulness allows you to better drop into the moment and be present with your beloved as well. Gifting presence is a priceless gift of love to your beloved which in turn is also a gift to your relationship and yourself.
When you are present you are really being with the other person and this is when the intimacy builds. Intimacy also depends on how honest you are with yourself and your beloved. You can not lie to yourself and you can not lie to a beloved if you want to get intimate. Your innate desire for intimacy is your desire to know and experience yourself deeply and to be truly known by your beloved.
4 simple ways to build intimacy before you get to the bedroom
Share Ideas – Be open minded, listen and share; perhaps it’s planning a holiday, booking a restaurant, or creating something together from a meal to a business launch.
Share Emotions – Without projection – Own how you’re feeling – share your emotions in a loving manner. This opens your heart to your beloved and brings you closer.
Have a Snuggle – Snuggling and hugging is endorphin raising. Holding someone and/or being held allows your body to slow down enough to connect deeper; to feel the others warmth, their energy merge with yours and welcome them into your personal space. This can be as intimate as you allow.
Touch to Feel – Conscious touch means being present while you are touching to deeply feel the other person can be extremely intimate. This transforms the stroke of an arm or cheek to a sensual interaction. Building upon this with touch after touch can awaken the fire between you both.
4 simple steps to spark Conscious Sex / Lovemaking
Set the scene – Candles, music, incense, dim lights, some champagne, ice cubes, strawberries, a blind fold, mirrors, warming or cooling of the room. Use your imagination it can be as simple as one candles by your bed or turning your space into a sacred temple of love worship.
Eye gazing – Eyes are the windows to the soul and are the powerhouse of sparking intimacy and fueling passion. Try; sit knee to knee, women on top, stand naked across the room from each other, or in front of a mirror if you are alone and look deeply into the eyes of yourself or your beloved. In them you will see yourself, you can see love, oneness, unity, Divinity. What else can you see? What do you feel? Where in your body do you feel it?Sensual touch – Where on your body or your partners body do you love to touch, explore, be licked, kissed, tasted, tickled, pinched, massaged? Go to other areas besides the breasts or genitals, make them hungry, wet, begging, desiring, excited, turned on, juicy for more before you go near the genitals.
Body Worship – This is the time to slow dance your way around the body temple, yes, slow. Slow it right down. Once you do make it to breast, yoni or lingam touch, take your time. This should be a dance or enticing erotica. THIS foreplay is lovemaking, it is being present in the heat of the moment, in the HEART of the moment.
The key distinction is that conscious lovemaking goes beyond the physical, you are penetrating each others hearts and souls as well. A conscious lover tunes into their beloveds movements, the flush of their skin, their breath and heart rate increasing, the little quivers or moans. They tune into the energy of their beloved and respond with passion and love. For some there is a healthy curiosity, a desire to experiment, mix things up and/or explore porn but once that has been achieved and the art of LOVE making, of conscious sex has been learned and practiced the distinction between the two is so vast it is like your eyes opening for the first time and you can not close them and shy away from what you have seen (felt, tasted…) ever again. This is the power of conscious sex, this is the power of making LOVE through opening to being Divine LOVE.
Article Source: http://www.stellamuse.com/porn-v-conscious-sex/