My Authentically Reflextion Of What Compassion Means To Me

by Edith Boyer-Telmer

Dear Friends,
the other day I received a message from the magnificent Barbara Franken, presenting the idea to me of sharing my personal understanding of what compassion means to me, and how I live my awareness. I was immediately interested in being part of this lovely new creation of hers. The attraction of expressing my way of living compassion in this world right away had its hand on me, and than I found myself realizing that „there is no simple one word answer to this question“.
Maybe because true compassion is a feeling that is build out of many layers of understanding self, and allowing this understanding to infiltrate our behavior with others. Or maybe because all simple things in life – are multidimensional in how we perceive and experience them.

From the heart I would say that in me, the feeling of compassion triggers the wish to assist others with my actions. This actions can have a range as wide as sitting silently next to a friend, in order to let him/her know that they are seen and accepted with what ever is going on; to quietly praying for the collective and beloved ones or can be standing up and speaking out for people, animals and environment – who have no voice in the current world games.
The capacity to naturally act on all of this impulses, I have gained thru years of very committed and disciplined spiritual practice, a growing understanding what self-love truly means, and an iron will to overcome all my limitations. But non of it would have been effective, if self-compassion would not have guided my eye, while looking at others.

And this self-compassion took me a long way to learn. You see when I was a child, I had a mainly absent father – out to travel all week and earn the family’s income (very stereo type haha), and my mother was a person who would work and push thru every physical, mental or emotional pain you can possibly imagine.
She did so to such an extend, that I actually thru all my childhood considered her being a very cruel person. Her individual mix of personal history, a natural B-Sides of the numerological vibration of 18/9 – which she represents, and most of all – a total refusal to grow spiritually.

One day, I was about 8years old, I watched her splitting wood in the seller. She slipped with the ax, cut deeply into her meaty knee, took quietly a deep in-breath; than simply removed the ax – put a bandage on her blood dripping knee and continued. As a little child, that was a real time horror shocker to me! And it made me scared to my bones, as for imagining what she could do to my body when in rage. An emotional state that she was not shy of expressing in physical violence.Now in her world, that is totally understandable and somehow ok. She is born in Graz, Austria, in the year 1931. She was 7 years old when the second world war in Austria started – an age where very important energetic gateways often are closing for the individual human; as we choose to identify stronger with the material world than with the spiritual realm. And there her focus already got re-directed from hopefully, happily living a child’s life, to „survival of the fittest is the rule of the game“.

So while she transitioned into a more physical body bound mindset, the world around her was dominated by aggression, forceful dominance and the loss of human life’s. As she refused over all the 85 years she has spend so far on this planet, to consciously reflect her own behavior ever, all the pattern she has build back than are based on pure survival instinct, physical fear reactions and a constant need to defend.
To allow myself the freedom of seeing this bigger picture while holding my inner peace in direct interaction with her – for me is an expression of compassion for her and for myself.

But it would not have been possible for me to extend this hand to her, if I would not have done the painful and deeply challenging inner work of self-recognizing my own harmful and abusive pattern. A work of self-acceptance for my humaneness and the mistakes I made thru life – and still make right now. Profound work of forgiveness for all the harm created on unconscious levels – which now are understood, and a constant commitment to work on my own inner confusions in respect to my own gentle heart.

I first had to create this inner sanctuary space of accepting life on planet earth, excepting my flaws, accepting the ways I am learning about myself and spirit in this world, accepting that seeing my daily life very different than the human collective on this planet does right now – is not because I am damaged or weak – but because I am whole in my heart. Spending years of cultivating my mind and my emotional body, has now widened the field of where my compassion wants to flow. My personal capacity to take more and more of this worlds brother and sister existences into consideration, when I am making an important decision about „my life“.

So on another layer you probably could also say that compassion is „the human capacity for us to develop“, if we truly desire world peace and a sustainable humane life on the blue planet. It is Native American understanding, that we are here as guardians and guides of the land and all its creatures. And I belief it is time we all together start acting on that. Time to approach life from a place of compassionate awareness for each others needs and respect for the future, our children desire to have!!Remember: „We’re all just walking each other home.” – Ram Dass
Love and Blessings!

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Everything is Relationship – Everything is Flow – What to do if yours feel stuck!!

2aaby Edith Boyer-Telmer

Dear Friends,
in the last few month the universal energies that have been influencing or transformation and evolutionary path as a human collective, have challenges us over and over again to allow a new paradigm of relationships to slowly emerge from within each of us! We have been pushed to understand all the little steps, how we are standing in our own way to truly receive the blessings of unconditional love, open sharing, authentic exchange and a supportive climate, for our personal relations and between all human beings.  A desire, that so many of us feel resonating as their soul path. A desire for a life as brotherhood of men.

Most people, when they her the word relationship, automatically think of partnership love, love relationships or sexual relations, but the picture is much much bigger.
In the second our spirit merged with the offerings of planet earth to materialize our human bodies, we became creatures intertwined in endless relations, with many layers of manifested and not manifested beings. Means, in our spirit we are pure light, unconditional love and bliss – as human beings our existence is about experience, evolution on all levels and, how we are standing in relationship to EVERYTHING in this world!!
In this so amazing time of human transformation we increasingly have the magnificent opportunity, to touch other creatures with our sensory self. We can be in communication, sharing and teaching with Ascended Master, Angels, the Animal Kingdom, Plant Healer and Crystals, just as easily as talking to a stranger in a coffee shop. The only thing that separates this beings from us, is our own claim to be worthy enough for such a relationship.
ashes-and-snow-by-gregory-colbert1These tips how to get your relationships back in flow, are therefor adaptable to every relationship of your life. Your core family, love relationship, children, friends, work colleges, the relationship you have with your work (if it makes you sick all the time, it might not be for you!), your home (if it breaks down without reason and sign show up for another place – maybe its time to move), the random world outside your window…

*)  The first particularly practical step is, to check if you are still two people in the relationship. Depending on your situation and the openness of your communication with the other, that can have many faces. You might see yourself realize bit by bit, that your partner is mainly physically in the room – but not actually present with you. You might speak to the other direct and ask if he is still fully in the boat. How ever your way of investigation might be, just make sure you are brutally honest with yourself. If you find yourself in a relation of two actively involved individuals, interested in maintaining the relation, your first victory has already happened!!
Unfortunately if you realize that this is not the case, your search ends here! There is no way to be in relation with somebody, who refuses to be actively part – every try to do so ends in abuse or/and self-abuse.

*) Make sure you are both totally honest about your core values and true needs in a relationship. That one actually can be tricky. If you socially meet new people or start a new relationship with the hope to maintained and carried it ahead, it is actually pretty simple to get what you need. You just need to be clear on your own needs and values – Clarity Attracts!! With your family members, long term friends and married couples its a bit more complex. When you met, you might not have been very grown up on a spiritual level of your evolution. So it is more likely that pattern mixed that you are unaware of.
My advice is: meet in a relaxed space of your home, light a candle have nice smell, meditate a little while together and than sit down and agree on topics for a writing meditation. The meditation is to detect your true values and needs, as they are TODAY. Be brave, choose things like how safe really feel with the partner, how much mental – emotional – practical help you need, if you truly can feel each other, values how children should be raised….
Sit down separated from another and write as long as it takes, as detailed as possible and as truthful as you can – even if it hurts or you feel scared or frustrated while you are writing. When ever both are done – exchange the papers. Make sure you give each other time and space to read and digest the information in separated physical space.
From there on you know what you are dealing with, and if the two people present in this relationship share the values*) This might sound funny but ancient tantric teachings and science found out, that human being have basically four different ways how they are able to receive love. Means, there are four energetic gateways of connection inside of us, for natural recognition and acceptance of love. When somebody does the – for the individual RIGHT THING – it is immediately stored as “received love today from…” deep inside our being. Of course the borders are a bit fluent and you might find yourself between two expressions. It also can feel right to list them in importance. All of that is true. True Love always starts with ourselves!!  So find out how you are able to receive love … Think about it, feel it, allow the past to come up and see, why situations could not work out with one or the other person you loved so much!!

*) Logical next step, find out how all your beloved once are able to receive love … If we truly love by heart, not only love the movie of our past with a person or the feeling they bring into our world, but love from a place that is giving and sharing, over-floating in abundance – than we naturally want to give the other exactly what they express as their need. Do it and your bound will grow stronger while spirited with more freedom than ever!

*) Seek to inspire each other again!! Remember how it felt when yo met your best friend, your dearest college your long-term partner! The endless talks, the sharing of things that inflame your passion, the fearlessness to talk about yourself with out expectation to be understood or pampered. Try it out for one day and look at every person you seam to KNOW WELL – with the eyes of a stranger, and ask questions you never thought of before. You might be surprised how much more there is to people, that where boxed up already 😉 by the mind.

*) Create time for talks in a sacred manner! Especially when we know people since a while or live with them, our mind can easily be tricked into the idea we would know them and know everything about them. That is a deathly assumption for a relationship. We always know only so little fractures of another being, that we have to be brave and ask questions – instead of assuming we would KNOW the answer already.
Take each a little time for a meditation and than meet. Great each other – maybe with an intimate hug, a namaste, a shy smile – what every is truthful to the character of your relationship! Create a little circle with stones or crystals, balloons or any other item of your choice. Sit down in front of each other and talk about yourself!! How you feel, what you need, how you experienced situations between each other – no blame, no judgement, no guilt!! Always only one person is talking!! Try to hear the other in order to understand them – not in order to be immediately ready with a reply. To the contrary – allow the “energy of the spoken word” to stay in the room and sink into your awareness, before you start answering at all. Make that a culture in your relations and the level of intimacy, relaxation and happiness you can experience together are, at least for me, not even possible to describe!!670px-Cast-a-Circle-Step-6-Version-2*) Create space in your life for sensual encounter. Sensuality and Sexuality might be relate to another, but are in character profoundly different. Sexuality is intensively activating our energies and pushes them to rise. Sensuality mostly calms us. A sensual touch without intention, gives us time to sink in and hangout with our own body. Sensuality nurtures us till the core of our soul – sexuality not always! So with the partner take time for sensuality only and you will feel much deeper connected! And for yourself – allow this differentiation and you will feel more freedom to share intimacy, with more people than only your partner. So hug the hell out of your friends, let a dog poppy lick your face or cuddle the neighbors baby. It does not matter how, just allow yourself abundance in being nurtured by others touch!!!

I wish you courage and strength, purity and inner guidance when you go out there to be brave and create authentic, truthful, intimate relations with ALL YOUR WORLD!!!
In Gratitude for our Relationship!
Blessings Edith

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