The Toxic Attraction Between an Empath & a Narcissist.

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Dear Friends,
another beautiful work came to me with this article. Looks like ‘it is empath week’! I love how the author explains the naturaly given dynamic between this so very different personality types!! I had a friend who fits in perfactly into the scheme. Lucky me it was not a love relationship as that would have gone way to far to my substance! An article worth reading!! 
Happy Day and keep your eyes open when you choose!
Love Edith
Via  on Jun 27, 2015
I am an empath. I discovered I was an empath after I got involved in a very deep and highly destructive relationship with a narcissist.

I am writing this article from the perspective of an empath, however, would love to read the view from the opposite side if there are any narcissists that would like to offer their perception on this.
Through writing about the empath personality type I have connected with many other people who class themselves as an empath and time and again I have heard people tell me how they have also attracted relationships with narcissists. There is a link. So, I decided to explore it further.
For a detailed explanation of both the narcissist and empathy personality types, please click here and here.

This is my theory…
From my own experience and studies on the narcissist personality type, there is always one core trait: A narcissist is wounded.
Something, somewhere along the line, usually stemming from childhood causes a person to feel worthless and unvalued and, due to this, they will constantly and very desperately seek validation.
Here comes the empath, the healer.
An empath has the ability to sense and absorb other people’s pain and often takes it on as though it were their own. If an empath is not consciously aware of boundaries and does not understand how to protect themselves, they will very easily and very quickly bond with the narcissist in order to try to fix and repair any damage and attempt to eradicate all their pain.
What the empath fails to realise is that the narcissist is a taker. An energy sucker, a vampire so to speak. They will draw the life and soul out of anyone they come into contact with, given the chance. This is so that they can build up their own reserves and, in doing so, they can use the imbalance to their advantage.
This dynamic will confuse and debilitate an empath, as if they do not have a full understanding of their own or other people’s capabilities, they will fail to see that not everyone is like them. An empath will always put themselves into other people’s shoes and experience the feelings, thoughts and emotions of others, while forgetting that other people may have an agenda very different to their own and that not everyone is sincere.

The narcissist’s agenda is one of manipulation, it is imperative they are in a position whereby they can rise above others and be in control. The empath’s agenda is to love, heal and care. There is no balance and it is extremely unlikely there ever will be one. The more love and care an empath offers, the more powerful and in control a narcissist will become.
The more powerful the narcissist becomes, the more likely the empath will retreat into a victim status. Then, there is a very big change—the empath will take on narcissistic traits as they too become wounded and are constantly triggered by the damage being in the company with a narcissist creates. Before long, an extremely vicious circle has begun to swirl.

DownloadWhen a narcissist sees that an empath is wounded they will play on this and the main intention will be to keep the empath down. The lower down an empath becomes, the higher a narcissist will feel. An empath will begin to frantically seek love, validation, confirmation and acceptance from a narcissist and each cry for help as such will affirm to the narcissist what they are desperate to feel inside—worthy. A bitter battle can ensue.
As an empath focuses solely on their pain, trauma and the destruction of their lives, they become self-obsessed and fail to see where the damage is coming from. Instead of looking outwards and seeing what is causing it, the empath will turn everything inward and blame themselves.
An empath at this stage must realise the situation they are in and wake up to it, as anyone who is deeply in pain and has been hurt can then become a narcissist themselves as they turn their focus onto their own pain and look for others to make them feel okay again.
Any attempt to communicate authentically with the narcissist will be futile as they will certainly not be looking to soothe and heal anyone else, Not only this, they are extremely charismatic and manipulative and have a powerful way of turning everything away from themselves and onto others. A narcissist will blame their own pain on an empath, plus they will also make sure the empath feels responsible for the pain they too are suffering.
An empath will know that they are in a destructive relationship by this stage and will feel so insecure, unloved and unworthy and it can be easy to blame all of their destruction onto the narcissist.
However, an empath should not be looking to blame anyone else. An empath has a choice, to remain the victim, a pawn in the narcissists game or to garner all strength they can muster and find a way out.
Emotionally exhausted, lost, depleted and debilitated an empath will struggle to understand what has happened to the once loving, attentive and charismatic person they were attracted to.
However we allow ourselves to be treated is a result of our own choices. If an empath chooses to stay in a relationship with a narcissist and refuses to take responsibility for the dynamic, they are choosing at some level what they believe they are worth on the inside. An empath cannot let their self-worth be determined by a narcissist. It is imperative they trust and believe in themselves enough to recognise that they are not deserving of the words and actions the narcissist delivers and to look for an escape.

indexIn an empath’s eyes, all they searched and looked for was someone to take care of and love and to ultimately fix.” That is where the trouble began and that is the most profound part of this that an empath must realise.
We are not here to fix anyone. We cannot fix anyone. Everyone is responsible for and capable of fixing themselves, but only if they so choose to.
The more an empath can learn about the personality of a narcissist the sooner they will spot one and the less chance they have of developing a relationship with one. If a relationship is already underway, it is never to late to seek help, seek understanding and knowledge and to dig deep into one’s soul and recognise our own strengths and capabilities and do everything we can to build the courage and confidence to see it for what it is and walk away—for good.
The chance of a narcissist changing is highly unlikely, so we shouldn’t stick around waiting for it to happen. If a narcissist wants to change, then great, but it should never happen at the expense of anyone else. They are not consciously aware of their behaviour and the damage it causes and in their game they will sacrifice anyone and anything for their own gain—regardless of what pretty lies and sweet nothings they try to whisper.
An empath is authentic and is desperate to live true to their soul’s purpose and will very likely find the whole relationship a huge lesson, a dodged bullet and painfully awakening.
A narcissist will struggle to have any connection to their authentic self and will likely walk away from the relationship very easily once they realise they have lost their ability to control the empath. The game is no longer pleasurable if they are not having their ego constantly stroked, so they will seek out their next victim.
The ability for these two types to bond is quite simply impossible. The narcissists heart is closed, an empath’s is open—it is nothing short of a recipe for a huge disaster, and not a beautiful one.

Source: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/the-toxic-attraction-between-an-empath-a-narcissist/

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Hacking Into Healing: The REAL Future of Medicine

2000px-Endocrine_central_nervous_en.svgInvestigating the “Impossible”
About 40 years ago, a group of microbiologists, behavioral scientists, and medical doctors in laboratories from UCLA to Russia proposed, based on their carefully conducted, independent studies, a completely heretical idea: that the brain, immune, and hormonal systems were connected — and that emotions had a major influence on the body.
They were completely laughed at by the scientific and medical community. Some were denied tenure. They were sometimes shut out of university laboratories for their “psychological nonsense.” Nevertheless, they persisted with the idea, and with their tenacity and vision, as well as years of careful research in the laboratory, founded the field that we now know as psychoneuroimmunology, or PNI.
Fortunately for us, these scientists persisted — and paved a path that has had tremendous impact on our understanding of health and medicine. Forty years later, the fact that the nervous system, the immune system, and the endocrine system are connected is now a given, and nearly every day we are reading about exciting developments in these fields, such as the contributions of the vagus nerve in immune and brain communication, and the recent paper in Nature reporting the existence of functional lymphatic vessels in the brain — something that again, was thought to be impossible. We’ve learned about the power of our own emotional states on our immunity — and how our mental state plays a role in certain disease risks — in some cases, even helping predict how long we live.

indexHacking the Body Electric
In parallel with these advances in PNI, we are seeing a rise in bioelectromagnetic medicine — including brain stimulation. These new devices — based on the mapping of the body’s responses to magnetic and electrical stimulation — are being heralded as the “Future of Medicine” — and some show tremendous promise in helping forward better treatment of certain diseases.
Unfortunately, the devices that could mitigate diseases, can also serve to disempower us, if used improperly. The fervor for these devices doesn’t just stop at finding new solutions for cancer or Alzheimer’s disease — corporate interests are pushing the development of devices down to “fixing” our mood and even our eating patterns. Feeling sad or out of sorts, or need to obliterate that hunger craving? No problem, a brain zap can fix that. There are plenty of folks ready to sell you such devices, whether or not they actually are based on sound scientific evidence. Some people are also creating DIY brain stimulation devices for home use to treat depression and enhance attention, which is not safe.

Is the “New Medicine” really based on Ancient Medicine?
While industry focuses on devices that can be sold as the next new medicine, some scientists have been uncovering the effects of ancient medicine — mind-body-spirit practices such as yoga, meditation, tai-chi and even energy healing on psychological, neural, immune, and endocrine outcomes for patients including those with PTSD, cancer, and cardiovascular disease.
The interesting thing is that the health impact of these practices, which have been part of global cultures for thousands of years, were mapped out long ago by the sages that had discovered and shared them. The described “mechanism of action” circulated around the understanding that these are spiritual practices that have a strong influence on the subtle energy system (part of what we now call in the West the “Biofield”), and through refining ourselves spiritually, positive shifts occur in our emotional, mental and physical well-being.
indexmhSadly, because of the emphasis on materialism in science and medicine, “spirit” is still considered a dirty word and is generally taboo for research and discussion. The study of “biofield” is not so far behind in the ridicule line, despite the basic science and clinical research demonstrating effects of the biofield on health, as is now being shown with bioelectronic medicine. In fact, industry is now in a race to begin mapping out the electromagnetic readouts of the body — one aspect of the biofield — but only to develop devices that can be bought and sold for mitigating disease symptoms.

The Future of Medicine is Up to Us
However, similar to the collaborations and dedication that resulted in the new field and advances of psychoneuroimmunology, a group of scientists as well as practitioners in diverse disciplines (including physics, biophysics, microbiology, psychology, endocrinology, technology, medicine, contemplative practice and the healing arts), are joining together to collectively advance the totality of understanding on the role of the consciousness in healing, including mapping the impact of mind-body-spirit practices on the biofield and health. This group of scientists, practitioners, and educators, who are part of the Consciousness and Healing Initiative, are ready to take the bold steps needed to rigorously ask and answer the harder questions — what is the role of our own consciousness in influencing our biology? How deeply can we guide and facilitate our own healing through our emotions, behavior, social, and spiritual connections, and how can we harness these effects to promote better health for ourselves, our communities and our planet? Scientific research that examines us as the agents of change for our own healing, would help to herald a true shift in the practice of medicine.
With these new advances in science, we have a choice to shape the new paradigm in health and medicine. We can choose to watch as industry dollars utilize scientific advances to advance the next wave of Big Pharma, or we can choose to support research that will irrefutably map the impact of our consciousness on our own health, so that we can better directly heal ourselves and prevent disease before it starts. We must choose not to lose the psyche in psychoneuroimmunology, and support the research and education that will truly empower our own health and healing, to usher in the real Future of Medicine.
Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-shamini-jain/hacking-into-healing-the-_b_7507928.html

The Power of Vulnerability: 10 Life Lessons

imagesUp until the last few years, I had rejected the idea of allowing myself to be vulnerable, if even on a subconscious and cellular level.

From a young age, I had managed to push down any vulnerability or sensitivity I had in me for my own psychic survival. Looking back I realize that I suffered from some deep emotional wounds, wounds that I wouldn’t or couldn’t acknowledge. Was it because I was strong? Was it because I was stubborn? Perhaps I was both. The truth was, I no longer knew.  Somewhere along the road to survival, the difference between the two had begun to blur.
I refused to be hurt. I refused it with such a vengeance; I probably hurt myself more in the process. I spent what felt like an eternity building emotional brick walls in hopes that they would protect my heart. Yes, I had it all figured out. Through the cunning and creative placement of walls, I would never have to feel pain again. Absence of pain equaled happiness.
You can imagine this was the start of a long, frustrating, and disappointing journey which ultimately landed me into one of the most painful life situations ever. There’s nothing like a near death experience, or three, to slow you down. On my path to healing, I came across this river of emotions flowing through me. Further along on the path, I found a wall I had built—a dam to the river. It was now an ocean, and I didn’t know how to swim, literally and figuratively. I went out in search of tools to help me take this wall down without causing further damage to my body or psyche.

It wasn’t long before I realized just how sensitive I really was. This sensitivity, or vulnerability, that I had denied myself all these years was now coming back to haunt me in the form of physical illness and anxiety disorder. As I allowed this side of me to emerge, it turns out that there was no way to avoid the pain associated with it.  I felt so much! It overwhelmed me at times; the emotions and feelings were like a rush. Feeling like I had finally taken my first deep breath, I exhaled and thought “Damn! This stinks!”  “This” referring to everything I found myself to be doing at the time.
All of a sudden I was unhappy with my line of work. Many of my relationships and friendships were beginning to feel less satisfying. This feeling of discontent followed me around all day. In short, I was depressed. I also had no idea how I was supposed to go about changing everything in my life, but I knew that there had to be changes.  I also knew, though, that my life at that time was a house of cards, every card depended on the other. Taking away any one card would bring the whole house down.
And so it was. My house of cards and all my walls came crashing down and I had to start over. Just as I would catch myself starting to build up my house of cards again, I’d stop.

 I’d remind myself of some of the lessons I have learned on this journey:
  1.  Honor yourself first and above all. You are no good to anyone if you are no good to yourself.
  2. You are the reason why you are not happy with your life. Period. Your life is based on a series of your own choices, no one else’s. You are not a victim; you are an empowered creator.
  3. The definition of insanity is “doing the same thing, over and over and expecting a different outcome.” If you want your life to be different, make different choices.
  4.  If you want to attract “better things” into your life, work on becoming a better person. You attract what you are.
  5.  There is a delicate balance to the Universe. It always provides everything you need. Note that “need” and “want” are two very different things.ver
  6.  Be kind, but don’t be a pushover. If it doesn’t feel true for you, chances are, it’s not. Then refer to lesson #1.
  7. Your body is your vessel and a gift; it doesn’t deserve your abuse. There is a fine line between indulging a desire, and depending on it.
  8. Forgive, forgive, forgive, but don’t forget. Start with yourself first.
  9. Choose friends who share your enthusiasm for life and appreciate your strengths and weaknesses.Which brings me to one of my most important lessons…
  10. Our strength lies in our vulnerability and our willingness to keep our hearts open in spite of all the painful blows that life throws at us. By allowing your heart to remain open you will not only learn faster and heal faster, but all those delicate and beautiful parts of yourself will begin to flourish.

shoe-Act-of-kindness-600x404Sensitivity is not a weakness. It could perhaps be your greatest unrealized strength. In my case, allowing myself to be vulnerable and honoring my sensitivity allowed me to start coming out of hibernation.
“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip, or you talk with Richard, and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death.”~ Anais Nin
Live life fully, in all its joy, in all its pain and in all its glory.

Source: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/03/the-power-of-vulnerability-10-life-lessons/

HOW TO CREATE AND MANIFEST SIMPLY AND EFFECTIVELY

9Dear Friends,
This is a beautiful piece of very practical and doable advice! Ways how to get your creator awareness aligned and become a more  conscious co-creation part in our universe. So many of us feel called these days to understand on very profound levels – how our power to manifest, our responsibility to use our powers wisely and the divine plan work together. What it means and how it works, to really be an active part in the manifestation of the Golden Age of Aquarius on Mother Earth! Personally I feel excited for us as humanity and me as an individual. I feel inspired and motivated to bring, everything I can identify as a burning desire of my soul, into realization on Mother ship Earth!
Love and Blessings! Lots of fun with the article!

Edith

magic_in_the_hand-1436162-672x372Greetings, Divine Companions!

In this article, I feel guided to talk about what we are consciously or unconsciously manifesting on the physical plane. This is a major theme these days and will continue to be so. We’ve all progressed so much and are able to manifest much faster – we need to become more conscious of this process. Each and every one of us is capable of creating and manifesting and that is a thing we’ve been doing whether we were aware of it or not. We have been creating constantly all our life, naturally, as it is part of us as Co-Creator beings. Experiences, certain situations, relationships, abundance and literally everything in our life was created and manifested by Us. If until now we’ve been doing it unconsciously, now with all the energetic upgrades, all the shifts in vibration and frequency we’ve been experiencing, it is time to become more aware of all these creations, in order to shape our reality in the vision of our Soul`s Purpose.
The most important aspect of manifestation, that I feel is necessary to emphasise is Self-awareness. Manifestation/Creation is not something you “do” it is something you are, it is a state of being and it’s constant. Self-awareness is the key to create and manifest into your reality whatever you intend to.

16Creation exists only in the Now, so first and foremost, we need to ground ourselves in the present moment of Now. When we are in the Now, being self-aware comes easy, cause in the Now, we simply are. Our emotions and thoughts do create our reality, so awareness of those is important, but what really creates our reality is our Consciousness, our Whole being, All we are. So, if we have any sort of fear, blockage, outdated perception, limitation etc. that will stay in the way of creating that which our Heart wants.
We have to become the Observers, which means being in a neutral state of being, of non-judgement. In that place we are able to acknowledge, release and heal what no longer serves us . Those blockages that I’ve mentioned above are not there coincidentally, we’ve placed them on our journey in order to grow. When you are ready to release those and grow from them, it is the first step towards creating the reality that you desire.

Another important aspect of manifestation/creation is Intentions. The Universe will not know what you truly desire  to experience in your reality, unless you “ask” for it. You have Freewill, which is a Universal Law, that is why you have to set intentions and hold those intentions. By setting intentions you tell the Universe, “Hey, this is what I want, make it happen! “

How do we set intentions ?
There are numerous simple ways to do that: using affirmations, mantras, guided meditations, visualisations etc. Pick one or more that fit you best. When you are setting your intentions, be specific, but make sure you are not getting caught up in details, let the Universe take care of the details. Trust in yourself and your abilities and have faith that which you intend to. Have no expectations of how that which you intend to, will take form. Life is full of surprises and your expectations will not only be outrun, but if you are too focused on your expectation, which is nothing more than a possibility from a godzillion other possibilities, you could miss the real deal.
Simply stay open to any possibility, opportunity that might be presented to you on the way, follow the signs and synchronicities and trust.
Prepare to be amazed by your own creator abilities, your own power. Use it wisely, consciously.
Thanks you for reading,
Love and Light,

Eddie Seanan, Source: http://www.thepowerwithinus.co.uk/2015/05/13/how-to-create-and-manifest-simply-and-effectively/

The Feel-Good Switch: The Radical Future of Emotion

the-feelgood-switch-the-radical-future-of-emotion_1THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! How fucked up is the control elite in this moment of time!!??
Now we are cloning human emotion into computer programs to manipulate even more! Craziest sentence of the article – “This is moving us to a place where we can produce desired emotions nearly on command. Does anybody agree that we don’t need more immediate impulse and desire satisfaction?? Careful human beings – time for a radical shift towards a healthy humanity!!!
How do you feel??
Blessings Edith

For most of the last century, the study of emotions was not considered serious science. The problem was subjectivity. Science is objective, rigorously objective. Emotions, though, are internal states, so the only way to study them is through subjective inference (essentially asking people to report how they feel). But —because people lie, because we often misinterpret our emotions and because comparisons between subjects, that is the depth of my anger versus your anger, is impossible to measure—there’s no objective data to be found.

Thus, until recently, the topic was taboo
Change came in the late 1990s, when neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp (now at Washington State ) discovered the precise neuron-to-neuron trail of the seven primary emotions in all mammals—meaning, in one fell swoop, he answered the longstanding question of do animals have feelings (yes) and turned effective (meaning the study of emotions) neuroscience into a real field.

images (2)That field has since blown up. This explosion is following a couple of important trajectories. First, there’s a technological revolution that is allowing machines to read and interpret human emotion like never before.

A couple months back, for example, I wrote about Ellie—the world’s first AI-psychologist. Developed for DARPA by researchers at USC—in an attempt to detect depression and decrease the catastrophic rate of soldier suicide—Ellie uses a combination of microphones, video cameras and a modified X-Box Kinect movement sensor to read 60 different physical signals a second (everything from vocal tone to micro-facial expressions to postural changes) and then uses these signals to decode emotion.
Along similar lines, Raffi Khatchadourian wrote a great piece for the New Yorker about Affectiva, an affective computing company that is making incredible progress in this same area. In many cases, like judging the nuanced meaning behind a smile, their algorithms can now read human emotion better than humans can.
These developments have researchers talking about called Emotional Economy, the next huge wave in techno-economic development and the follow up to today’s Information Economy.

download (1)What is the Emotion Economy? Well, for starters, think about the forthcoming Internet of Things (IoT)—a giant mesh network connecting all of our devices. Now think about what happens if this network understands emotions.
Say you’re driving home from work. You’re tired because it’s been a long day. You’re also anxious because you have a ton of stuff due by the following morning. Well, as both your car and your phone will soon be able to read and interpret emotional and biological signals, as you’re driving home, these devices will detect your mood and fire up the coffee pot. Thus, by the time you’re back home, there’s a cup of magic black liquid waiting for you.
And this is a pretty tame example. For something a little more disruptive, imagine you’re on a Skype call with a potential new business partner. Of course, as part of the soon-to-be standard Skype package, your computer comes with its own affective detectors. So when your prospective business partner starts becoming really anxious during a discussion of shared responsibilities, you can get to the root of these anxieties before they become a bigger problem.
Beyond this technological revolution (which is helping us read and understand emotion), there’s a concurrent pharmacological revolution that’s moving us to a place where we can produce desired emotions nearly on command.

download (2)In this arena, consider the work of a team of researchers at the University of California, Berkeley and UC San Francisco who—just last week— discovered that giving people a drug that increases the reward/motivation chemical dopamine in their brain also increases their compassion.

In this study, participants were given either a placebo or the Parkinson’s drug tolcapone—which prolongs the effects of dopamine in the pre-frontal cortex and essentially does the same sort of the same thing Prozac does (though, instead of prolonging the effects of serotonin in the brain, it amplifies dopamine). Next, these participants played a money distribution game—dividing a fixed sum between known players and anonymous participants (which is a good way to measure our compassion towards anonymous strangers).
The results were conclusive: participants with more dopamine floating around their system were more prone towards pro-social behaviors—that is, they were more sensitive to fairness and less tolerant of social inequality (that is, the perceived economic gap between an anonymous stranger and a known player).
While this is an exciting breakthrough in its own right, it comes on the heals of a decade of similar discoveries. We now have an oxytocin-stimulating nasal spray, for another example, that impacts trust levels (while there mitigating factors, in simple terms the more oxytocin in our system, the more we trust the people around us).

dopamineNow, for certain, there’s ton of stuff we still don’t know. Research into SSRI’s definitely proves that there’s more to this puzzle than a single neuro-chemical producing a single emotion (otherwise we would have ‘cured’ depression by now), but there’s no way around the fact that if  you combine these technological and pharmacological breakthroughs, we find two decades of stunning progress. In this short timespan, we’ve gone from knowing next to nothing about emotions to the point where we can read, interpret and—at least sometimes—produce these states nearly at will. Moreover, these discoveries are moving out of the lab and into the real world.

And the real world will never be the same.
The changes that are coming will be vast, but I want to point out two key areas of development.
First, let’s think about how many once “normal” conditions are now labeled pathologies (shyness has become ‘social phobia,’ sadness has become depression). Because of these new categories, according to new research by the National Institute of Mental Health, one quarter of Americans will surfer some form of mental illness. Already, these Americans are being prescribed medicines by the boatload. Now, sure, we could argue back and forth about the medical versus the diagnostic validity of these conditions, but that’s besides the point. The real point is we now live in a culture where, if you don’t like how you feel, rather than being forced to make changes to your life, we are reaching for pills to pop.

imagesResearch into things like dopamine as a compassion trigger is going to produce more pills to pop. And these pills will become more precise (meaning they’ll be far more effective than, say, today’s SSRI’s) and more readily available. What this adds up to is a profound shift in our collective mood—let’s just say that the baseline average mood will shift a few degrees up the happiness side of the curve. Sure, a happier world seems like a better world, but the real point is this is the first time in history such a shift will be possible and—like everything else—there will clearly be some unintentional consequences.
And that’s only half of this picture.  The other half starts with the idea that emotions are big levers—they exist to shape and steer behavior. But, because these levers are fairly easy to pull (think about how easy it is for your parents to push your buttons), humans evolved the ability to conceal their emotional states.  Yet, thanks to affective computing, the future that’s coming is a very exposed place. Your feelings—those inner experiences that have remained firmly private for all of human history—are going public. Meaning, the Emotional Economy brings with it a whole new level of radical transparency.
Taken together, these technological and pharmacological developments are producing the largest change in human emotional processing to come along in tens of thousands of years. Not only will nothing ever be the same—nothing ever will feel the same.

Source: http://www.forbes.com/sites/stevenkotler/2015/03/23/the-feel-good-switch-the-radical-future-of-emotion/

New Science Says Your Dog Can Understand

dogincar(1)A new study published in the journal Cell, by Victoria Ratcliffe and David Reby, should lend some relief to dog owners who enjoy talking with their pets. The new research indicates that if you are one of them: you’re probably not as crazy as your friends sometimes like to joke about.

The study found that dogs actually interpret human speech in much the same way you or I do: by putting sounds together into coherent words (so interpretation based on meaning) using the left hemisphere, and figuring out the emotions and gender of the speaker using the right hemisphere. This did this by playing sound clips that varied in terms of content and sound, evaluating the dogs’ responses based on which direction their heads turned when responding to the recorded messages.

The study found that dogs showed a significant LH bias when presented with a familiar spoken command in which the salience of meaningful phonemic (segmental) cues was artificially increased but a significant RH bias in response to commands in which the salience of intonational or speaker-related (suprasegmental) vocal cues was increased. In other words, the study found that the dogs were far more likely to turn left when hearing a familiar cue, but more likely to turn right when the sounds didn’t add up: much like you or I.

This isn’t the biggest surprise, and in fact it’s something most animal lovers have “known” for quite a long time. It provides further evidence for the theory that our animal companions are capable of understanding more than a simple Pavlovian connection between a bell and food. Indeed this new research helps emphasize the difference between cats and dogs when contrasted with a 2013 study from the University of Tokyo, which showed that cats can recognize their owner calling them but simply don’t care.

downloadAlthough humans have a larger neo-cortex than our animal compatriots, allowing for more dynamic learning, we are not alone in being able to assemble tones into coherent ideas and understanding. Indeed, magpies, crows, and ravens may surpass humans in a dimension of this: they are able to pass on learned visual cues to the next generation through an unknown mechanism. So even though we may be the kings of dynamic and abstract learning, we certainly aren’t the only species capable of conscious interaction with the world.
How much, and to what degree, our animal companions can understand us remains to be seen. Certainly, an increasing volume of research indicates that they understand more than many of us give them credit for.

Source: http://www.exposingtruth.com/new-science-says-dog-can-understand/#ixzz3XDUFO95S

8 THINGS EMOTIONALLY STABLE PEOPLE DON’T DO

happ3“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions.  I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
―Oscar Wilde

Last night I received an email (creatively) titled “Emotionally Stable People Don’t Do This” from a reader named Karl.  In it he describes a rather chaotic emotional roller coaster that he’s been on for the past few years, personally and professionally.  And then he wrapped up his email with this:

“Truly, I love your book and blog.  Both have helped me get through some seriously tough times.  But even though I’ve made progress, I often struggle with my emotions.  I persistently let every little problem get the best of me.  So I was wondering, what do emotionally stable people NOT do?  I’m asking because, even though I’ve made progress, I know I’m still holding on to old habits that are holding me back.  I need some reminders of what NOT to do!”

haThere are a million ways to answer Karl’s question (especially as it relates to his unique life situation), but since emotional stability is something all of us struggle with at times, I figured I’d take a stab at answering his question in a general sense, for all of us.  Here’s what emotionally stable people don’t do:

  1. They don’t take other people’s behavior personally. – It’s easy to feel unloved and unwanted when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you expect.  And it’s so hard not to internalize that disconnection as a reflection on your worth.  But the truth is, the way other people behave and function is not about you.  Most people are so caught up in their own problems, responsibilities and struggles, that the thought of asking you how you’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind.  They aren’t being mean or uncaring – they’re just busy and a bit self-centered at times.  And that’s OK.  It’s not evidence of some fundamental flaw on your part.  It doesn’t make you unlovable or unworthy.  It just means that some people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own egocentric bubble.  But the fact that you are – that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others – is an incredible strength.
  2. They don’t get caught up in petty arguments and drama. – Being strong and emotionally stable doesn’t mean you have to stay and fight all the battles and petty arguments that come your way.  It means just the opposite – you don’t have to stay and respond to other people’s rude remarks and unnecessary hostility.  When you encounter someone with a bad attitude, don’t respond by throwing insults back at them.  Keep your dignity and don’t lower yourself to their level.  True strength is being bold enough to walk away from the nonsense with your head held high.happ2
  3. They don’t just react (they respond mindfully). – A reaction is a hot, thoughtless, in-the-moment burst of emotion that’s usually driven by our ego (we’re more likely to react when we’re disconnected from our rational mind).  It might last just a split second before our intuition kicks in and offers some perspective, or it might take over to the point that we act on it.  When we feel angry or flustered after dealing with a situation or person, that’s a sign we’ve reacted rather than responded mindfully.   Responding mindfully will leave you feeling like you handled things with integrity and poise.
  4. They don’t get stuck thinking the world is ending. – Sometimes the darkest times can bring you to the brightest places, your most painful struggles can grant you the greatest growth, and the most heartbreaking losses of relationships can make room for the most wonderful people.  What seems like a curse at the moment can actually be a blessing in disguise, and what seems like the end of the road is actually just the realization that you are meant to travel a different path.  No matter how difficult things seem, there’s always hope.  And no matter how powerless you feel or how horrible things seem, you can’t give up.  You have to keep going.  Even when it’s scary, even when all your strength seems gone, you have to keep picking yourself back up and moving forward, because whatever you’re battling in the moment, it will pass, and you will make it through.  You’ve made it this far, and you’ve felt this way before.  Think about it.  Remember that time awhile back when you thought the world was ending?  It didn’t.  And it isn’t ending this time either.
  5. They don’t tie their present emotions to past negativity. – When we’re in the ‘here and now,’ it’s much easier to cope with emotions and see them as just that: emotions.  If we get caught up obsessing over the past, emotions and situations can take on new (and untrue) meanings as they become attached to stories.  For example, imagine you just got turned down for a new job.  Naturally you’re disappointed.  But if you’re not present with that emotion, and instead try to act like a tough girl or guy by burying it, the mind delves back into your past for all the other times you’ve felt that way.  Now you feel like a failure and you start to carry a feeling of unworthiness into every future job interview.  When we stay present, we’re empowered to start fresh every moment and we can see every situation with a sharpened perspective, which allows us to grow beyond the negative emotions (and outcomes) standing in our way.
    happ
  6. They don’t try to escape change. – Sometimes, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us feel to admit it, there are things in our lives that aren’t meant to stay.  Change may not be what we want, but it’s always exactly what’s happening.  The Earth does not stop spinning.  And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.  Or, saying hello will make you more vulnerable and uneasy than you ever thought possible.  Some changes are almost too much to bear.  But most of the time, change is the only thing that will save your life and allow you to dream and grow and succeed and smile again.  Life changes every single moment, and so can you.
  7. They don’t try (or pretend) to be perfect. – Despite what others may tell you, you can disappoint people and still be good enough.  You can fail and still be smart, capable and talented.  You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love and admiration.  Everyone has disappointed someone they care about at some point.  Everyone messes up, lets people down, and makes mistakes.  Not because we’re all inadequate or inept, but because we’re all imperfect and human.  Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for confusion and disappointment.
  8. They don’t spew hate at themselves. – When you catch yourself drowning in self-hate, you must remind yourself that you were not born feeling this way.  That at some point in the past some person or experience sent you the message that something is wrong with you, and you internalized this lie and accepted it as your truth.  But that lie isn’t yours to carry, and those judgments aren’t about you.  And in the same way that you learned to think negatively of yourself, you can learn to think new, positive and self-loving thoughts.  You can learn to challenge those false beliefs, strip away their power, and reclaim your self-respect.  It won’t be easy, and it won’t transpire overnight.  But it is possible.  And it begins when you decide that there has to be a better way to live, and that you deserve to discover it.

gffgCLOSING THOUGHTS

Looking after our emotional wellness helps us get the very most out of life.  When we feel emotionally stable, we feel more centered and connected to our intuition.  We become more productive, better at making decisions, more present, and more fulfilled.
So now that we’ve covered eight big “don’ts,” let’s close with a few rapid-fire “do’s” to improve your emotional stability and wellbeing in general…

  • Do… understand that the problem is not the problem – the problem is the incredible amount of over-thinking you’re doing with the problem.
  • Do… realize that just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.  Just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it’s worth your while.  Do what’s right in life, not what’s easy.
  • Do… know there’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion.  Life is too short.  Invest in the activities you deeply care about.
  • Do… admit when you are wrong, and then embrace the fact that you are wiser now than you were before.
  • Do… say “no” so your yeses have more oomph.
  • Do… be so busy loving the people who love you that you don’t have time to worry about the few people who don’t like you for no good reason.
  • Do… focus more on being interested than being interesting.
  • Do… express gratitude and think about how rich you are – your family and friends are priceless, your time is gold, and your health is true wealth.
  • Do… realize that if the grass looks greener on the other side, it’s time to stop staring… stop comparing… stop complaining… and start watering the grass you’re standing on.
  • Do… be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it.
  • Do… see transitions in life as the perfect opportunity to let go of one situation and embrace something even better coming your way.

    Jade Small | March 19, 2015, 

  • Source: http://www.the-open-mind.com/8-things-emotionally-stable-people-dont-do/