The Toxic Attraction Between an Empath & a Narcissist.

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Dear Friends,
another beautiful work came to me with this article. Looks like ‘it is empath week’! I love how the author explains the naturaly given dynamic between this so very different personality types!! I had a friend who fits in perfactly into the scheme. Lucky me it was not a love relationship as that would have gone way to far to my substance! An article worth reading!! 
Happy Day and keep your eyes open when you choose!
Love Edith
Via  on Jun 27, 2015
I am an empath. I discovered I was an empath after I got involved in a very deep and highly destructive relationship with a narcissist.

I am writing this article from the perspective of an empath, however, would love to read the view from the opposite side if there are any narcissists that would like to offer their perception on this.
Through writing about the empath personality type I have connected with many other people who class themselves as an empath and time and again I have heard people tell me how they have also attracted relationships with narcissists. There is a link. So, I decided to explore it further.
For a detailed explanation of both the narcissist and empathy personality types, please click here and here.

This is my theory…
From my own experience and studies on the narcissist personality type, there is always one core trait: A narcissist is wounded.
Something, somewhere along the line, usually stemming from childhood causes a person to feel worthless and unvalued and, due to this, they will constantly and very desperately seek validation.
Here comes the empath, the healer.
An empath has the ability to sense and absorb other people’s pain and often takes it on as though it were their own. If an empath is not consciously aware of boundaries and does not understand how to protect themselves, they will very easily and very quickly bond with the narcissist in order to try to fix and repair any damage and attempt to eradicate all their pain.
What the empath fails to realise is that the narcissist is a taker. An energy sucker, a vampire so to speak. They will draw the life and soul out of anyone they come into contact with, given the chance. This is so that they can build up their own reserves and, in doing so, they can use the imbalance to their advantage.
This dynamic will confuse and debilitate an empath, as if they do not have a full understanding of their own or other people’s capabilities, they will fail to see that not everyone is like them. An empath will always put themselves into other people’s shoes and experience the feelings, thoughts and emotions of others, while forgetting that other people may have an agenda very different to their own and that not everyone is sincere.

The narcissist’s agenda is one of manipulation, it is imperative they are in a position whereby they can rise above others and be in control. The empath’s agenda is to love, heal and care. There is no balance and it is extremely unlikely there ever will be one. The more love and care an empath offers, the more powerful and in control a narcissist will become.
The more powerful the narcissist becomes, the more likely the empath will retreat into a victim status. Then, there is a very big change—the empath will take on narcissistic traits as they too become wounded and are constantly triggered by the damage being in the company with a narcissist creates. Before long, an extremely vicious circle has begun to swirl.

DownloadWhen a narcissist sees that an empath is wounded they will play on this and the main intention will be to keep the empath down. The lower down an empath becomes, the higher a narcissist will feel. An empath will begin to frantically seek love, validation, confirmation and acceptance from a narcissist and each cry for help as such will affirm to the narcissist what they are desperate to feel inside—worthy. A bitter battle can ensue.
As an empath focuses solely on their pain, trauma and the destruction of their lives, they become self-obsessed and fail to see where the damage is coming from. Instead of looking outwards and seeing what is causing it, the empath will turn everything inward and blame themselves.
An empath at this stage must realise the situation they are in and wake up to it, as anyone who is deeply in pain and has been hurt can then become a narcissist themselves as they turn their focus onto their own pain and look for others to make them feel okay again.
Any attempt to communicate authentically with the narcissist will be futile as they will certainly not be looking to soothe and heal anyone else, Not only this, they are extremely charismatic and manipulative and have a powerful way of turning everything away from themselves and onto others. A narcissist will blame their own pain on an empath, plus they will also make sure the empath feels responsible for the pain they too are suffering.
An empath will know that they are in a destructive relationship by this stage and will feel so insecure, unloved and unworthy and it can be easy to blame all of their destruction onto the narcissist.
However, an empath should not be looking to blame anyone else. An empath has a choice, to remain the victim, a pawn in the narcissists game or to garner all strength they can muster and find a way out.
Emotionally exhausted, lost, depleted and debilitated an empath will struggle to understand what has happened to the once loving, attentive and charismatic person they were attracted to.
However we allow ourselves to be treated is a result of our own choices. If an empath chooses to stay in a relationship with a narcissist and refuses to take responsibility for the dynamic, they are choosing at some level what they believe they are worth on the inside. An empath cannot let their self-worth be determined by a narcissist. It is imperative they trust and believe in themselves enough to recognise that they are not deserving of the words and actions the narcissist delivers and to look for an escape.

indexIn an empath’s eyes, all they searched and looked for was someone to take care of and love and to ultimately fix.” That is where the trouble began and that is the most profound part of this that an empath must realise.
We are not here to fix anyone. We cannot fix anyone. Everyone is responsible for and capable of fixing themselves, but only if they so choose to.
The more an empath can learn about the personality of a narcissist the sooner they will spot one and the less chance they have of developing a relationship with one. If a relationship is already underway, it is never to late to seek help, seek understanding and knowledge and to dig deep into one’s soul and recognise our own strengths and capabilities and do everything we can to build the courage and confidence to see it for what it is and walk away—for good.
The chance of a narcissist changing is highly unlikely, so we shouldn’t stick around waiting for it to happen. If a narcissist wants to change, then great, but it should never happen at the expense of anyone else. They are not consciously aware of their behaviour and the damage it causes and in their game they will sacrifice anyone and anything for their own gain—regardless of what pretty lies and sweet nothings they try to whisper.
An empath is authentic and is desperate to live true to their soul’s purpose and will very likely find the whole relationship a huge lesson, a dodged bullet and painfully awakening.
A narcissist will struggle to have any connection to their authentic self and will likely walk away from the relationship very easily once they realise they have lost their ability to control the empath. The game is no longer pleasurable if they are not having their ego constantly stroked, so they will seek out their next victim.
The ability for these two types to bond is quite simply impossible. The narcissists heart is closed, an empath’s is open—it is nothing short of a recipe for a huge disaster, and not a beautiful one.

Source: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/the-toxic-attraction-between-an-empath-a-narcissist/

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Why not to take Ayahuasca?

Sanango , Izabal, Guatemala

aya

Thank you so much hermano Sanango from the Sinchi Runa Center in Izabal, for this beautiful article. I totally agree with him on the need for a good preparation, a deep personal understanding of the process, a good mental and physical health state and lots and lots of transparency in the communication with the facilitator/assistant. Each of this parts are important for the success of a session. For the integration I watched the following: with every day you spend in a loving self-embrace; with smoothing, self-love evoking, balancing and harmonizing music; breathing deeply and consciously, while planting seeds of positive thought pattern – the deeper roots of your past (this and every other life on the spiral dance of creation), your destructive pattern and emotional body, the medicine can reach and shift in vibration. This can go on for days and days after the ceremonial encounter – totally depending on your invested degree of awareness, attention, devotion, surrender and passion. REMEMEBER – we talk about engaging in a relationship with a spirit!
I saw similarity in our few about finding the right helper match, which made me smile. I believe in guidance and the good of obeying the free will! So for me it is: 1st let the medicine call you! Feel a pull – in best case more than one’s – feel attracted, sense passion that comes from within, sense nervousness similar to stage fright….All of this are excellent signs of a “call” from your spirit guides. As next step, you can take full responsibility for yourself by clearing deep inside, what you might need in your servant. From there you are well equipped, to choose – from the heart – your work partner for the process. As a last step: with your feet on the ground, make a leap of faith, trust your choice of person and trust the process! 🙂
I found myself laughing out loud, when he calls the Ayahuasca a “des hallucinatory substance” :-).. AHO – I soooo agree!! The nice colors, the geometries and sounds are lovely and amazing also very good for the emotional body – as they are of high vibration and can fill up our “feel good account”. But they are barely a blue print of each individuals soul potential . A blueprint that wants to be manifested into our materialized world – in the alchemical wedding of your spirit in human action. The deep healing, the creational existence of self, the endlessness, we find in the layers beyond.
Isn’t it funny, that even the physical body in compressed form proves to contain 99% emptiness :-)…

Love and Blessings
Edith

There are many indications against taking ayahuasca. At the physical level, the most important is a major cardiovascular disorder. Problems could be caused not so much through the biochemical action of the brew, but through the stress caused by the intense work or circumstance that might come with the session. An ayahuasca session is a great opportunity, but demands a lot of mental and physical strength, for which it is important to have a history free of cardiovascular complications.

At the mental level, there are individuals with serious emotional problems that may hinder the dynamic of the session. These emotional problems can be expressed in daily life by uncontrollable impulses, states of explosive anger or deep states of loss of control. If the participant suffers from so-called black outs or have been diagnosed with a psychiatric mental disorder, a prior personal consultation is needed before the session to evaluate the inner state.

Moreover, there are situations such as addictions or consumption of psychiatric drugs to take into account. If the participant is using any kind of substance, it is very important to have a prior detoxification period. This is preferably done in the center that will realize the ayahuasca session. The use of substances such as cocaine or dopamine stimulants requires a detox period that can vary from 15 to 30 days before the intake of the plant. If the participant discards this indication and wishes to attend a session without disclosing data regarding these issues, it signifies a lack of understanding. Such a participant does not realize the type of medicine that ayahuasca is and will not be ready to participate in a session.

The attitude of the participant seeking their own search for truth, trust, transparency towards himself and to the process, is the most important thing in front of an ayahuasca session or any kind of spiritually based healing.
If the participant is not clear of what type of process he is approaching and has information based only through the impact of online videos, seeking a psychedelic experience or only expecting to receive lights and colorful shapes that can cause great excitement. If the expectation is a spectacular trip or a magic potion, the participant should not drink ayahuasca.

It is important to understand that the mission and spirit of ayahuasca is to heal through comprehension. The great opportunity of humanity with this entheogen is to surpass the barrier of the mind and go beyond the illusion of the state of alertness to obtain wisdom of the universe.
Ayahuasca is not an hallucinogen, is a des hallucinatory substance. Ayahuasca is a portal to the essence of humanity, a portal where memories of the species can be opened. This opening can bring understanding of the higher self and the purpose of each one, not only as an individual, but as humanity. Ayahuasca is a chance to heal the soul and reach the truth that lives within each one.

It is very important that the guide is honest and truthful. Do not take ayahuasca with guides who have new age speeches or messianic ideas. Make sure that the guide or facilitator is not improvising and that has really done a deep work of personal comprehension or a discipular spiritual path. It is advisable to analyze the ethical level of the guide or facilitator, the profusion of “shamans”, “avatars”, “guardians of the medicine” and other bizarre characters is something to avoid when choosing where and with whom to take ayahuasca. An apparent native guide or facilitator does not guarantee anything. Not be swayed by prejudice or pre concepts, neither believe in “shamans”, “natives”, who lives in cities or that are characters full of names or egotistical self-imposed titles.

If you have financial constraints, it is best to wait to fix them. Never make a decision based on finding the cheapest option. Do not trust sessions that only ask for a “collaboration” or are “free”, these are usually desperate acts of the guide or facilitator and is generally a lack of transparency. It is recommended to not do sessions carried out in cities or proceeding from them, in which the guide or facilitator is a multi-task professional.

ayahuasca

A genuine ayahuasca ceremony requires a prior preparation, a purge and a preliminary assessment. It is recommended that ayahuasca sessions be done preferably in a center in the jungle or in the countryside where the participant can disconnect from the everyday world. It is recommended to rest after the experience and make the space to take it seriously.
If the participant has a big schedule which is more important compared to the healing process and the session is one of the many experiences of the itinerary, the participant definitely should not take ayahuasca.

The participant must make a careful choice, free of cultural preconceptions, making the proper space and having the respect it deserves. If the previous points are not taken into account, one should not take Ayahuasca.
The best practice to decide where and with whom to do a session is to listen to one’s heart. It is easy to see who is real or not, this is very important when making this decision.

The participant has a decision to make this experience a chance of understanding something far beyond anything imagined. It’s the opportunity to open the heart, mind and being to the universe. The session is an opportunity to heal and be healed through the compassion of the universe. If the participant reaches humility and pureness of heart, it may understand the most important thing of their existence.

Source: http://ayahuascaguatemala.com/existen-varias-contraindicaciones-para-evitar-tomar-ayahuasca.html