our world is changing and we are still about to grab the bigger picture of what it means to go thru a number 8 Numerology year. One of the themes we are triggered to understand on a deeper level, is our idea of what it means to be a true leader.
When we look into the society we collectively created so far most people would probably say a leader is a person of strength, of big knowledge, a charismatic, headstrong, probably courageous being – with maybe even an intimidating personality. But than, when we look into the society we have right now, we also have to admit – that did not quite work out so well for us!
I was born in the 70s in Vienna-Austria, as an Indigo Child, Introvert and Empath. When I was little, we lived in a residential area next to diplomats, local politicians and the economical elite of Vienna. People of great power and influence in the world. I always felt like an outsider, somehow alone, different than others, more like standing on the sidelines of life watching the figures in my world make their moves – than emotionally present with them. Something many High Sensitive People experience as a challenge in their life. During the years of my parents divorce, I had to switched schools quite often, which did not make it more easier for me to feel connected.
But, every single time I meet people who where in class with me, they tell me how much they loved my “loud voice against injustice“, the frequency of change that came with me into the classroom, and “that I lead them” into more authentic and courageous expression – when talking to the teachers. Some call it revolution ;-)…
Do you see where I am going with that?
Indigo Child & Empath use all their being when listening to others:
Empath just like Indigo Children and High Sensitive, experience the world through a different perspective than the average person. Most people with these traits are used to live their life in the extended energetic state of the 6th sense. That allows them to read other peoples energies and emotions, while talking to them.
Something else that differentiates the behavior of most Empath, Indigo Children and High Sensitive from the collective is, that they are used to listen to people with the intention to hear THEIR TRUTH and to understand the motivation behind the spoken word. That creates a field of security – a warm embrace for the talker, which naturally leads to more freedom in expression.
When I am honest, most of the impressive men in leading positions that I met during my childhood, scared the living hell out of me. They where simple unapproachable!! No warm feelings or no openness, there was nothing that mad me feel safe – in the energy field they where radiating.
For me that is a clear sign, that sensitive personality types are rather the more effective “natural born leader” in our world. They have the capacity to do a better job, as its natural for them to put their egos aside and truly care for others. Their communication skills include the awareness, that transparency and honesty are required to create an authentic relationship with others. That are traits of leader for me, traits I desire seeing in Politicians, Teacher, Doctors and Police officer!
Sensitive people feel the need to balance their environment:
Why would that make them good truthful leader? When High Sensitive people interact with others, they are naturally looking for a win – win situation for all beings involved. If that is not the case they feel very uncomfortable and could even make themselves sick. Most of the political leader we have at the moment, are puppets to the system they are working in. Indigo Children are literally born with the soul purpose to lead the human collective, into the manifestation of the Golden Age of Aquarius and change that!
Sensitive people mainly seek to make their decisions, based on the needs and for the best of the collective. They experience it as rather natural to consider the feelings and opinions of others, in their evaluation of a situation.
To me – that sounds like a healthy natural leader. If in a political position, a developing project, a cooperate job or the little family clan, that is what the world needs!!
Self-study makes them more accepting of human nature:
Many Empath, Indigo Children and High Sensitive are often also rather introverted people. It kind of comes with the shared traits this personality types usually have. Because many of them feel weird and as outsider in their society, they spending more time trying to understand themselves than most people do. They study their own behavior and human nature, with the intention to feel the beauty of oneness.
In a conversation with others they than apply the gained understanding, in order to connect on an even deeper level. It makes their ability to accept the inner dynamics that are at work in peoples emotions, much profounder than most people are able to find inside themselves.
Once Empath, Indigo Children or High Sensitive people understand the incredible gifts they carry inside, nothing can stop them from using them for the higher good! The sensitivity and vulnerability that is part of their nature, makes them strong and highly co-operative creative partner. Their natural mindset and positive attitude about leadership in co-operation, allows them to be fearless in finding new solutions for our collectively evolving humanity.
They carry the ability and courage to create strong impacts of positive change for our world!! Change born from compassion for self and others and the need to create balance and harmony for everybody!!
I wish you clarity and strength on your path into your future leading roles on this planet!!! Blessed be your beautiful, crystal clear souls!!
Love and Blessings
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in the last few month the universal energies that have been influencing or transformation and evolutionary path as a human collective, have challenges us over and over again to allow a new paradigm of relationships to slowly emerge from within each of us! We have been pushed to understand all the little steps, how we are standing in our own way to truly receive the blessings of unconditional love, open sharing, authentic exchange and a supportive climate, for our personal relations and between all human beings. A desire, that so many of us feel resonating as their soul path. A desire for a life as brotherhood of men.
Most people, when they her the word relationship, automatically think of partnership love, love relationships or sexual relations, but the picture is much much bigger.
In the second our spirit merged with the offerings of planet earth to materialize our human bodies, we became creatures intertwined in endless relations, with many layers of manifested and not manifested beings. Means, in our spirit we are pure light, unconditional love and bliss – as human beings our existence is about experience, evolution on all levels and, how we are standing in relationship to EVERYTHING in this world!!
In this so amazing time of human transformation we increasingly have the magnificent opportunity, to touch other creatures with our sensory self. We can be in communication, sharing and teaching with Ascended Master, Angels, the Animal Kingdom, Plant Healer and Crystals, just as easily as talking to a stranger in a coffee shop. The only thing that separates this beings from us, is our own claim to be worthy enough for such a relationship.
These tips how to get your relationships back in flow, are therefor adaptable to every relationship of your life. Your core family, love relationship, children, friends, work colleges, the relationship you have with your work (if it makes you sick all the time, it might not be for you!), your home (if it breaks down without reason and sign show up for another place – maybe its time to move), the random world outside your window…
*) The first particularly practical step is, to check if you are still two people in the relationship. Depending on your situation and the openness of your communication with the other, that can have many faces. You might see yourself realize bit by bit, that your partner is mainly physically in the room – but not actually present with you. You might speak to the other direct and ask if he is still fully in the boat. How ever your way of investigation might be, just make sure you are brutally honest with yourself. If you find yourself in a relation of two actively involved individuals, interested in maintaining the relation, your first victory has already happened!!
Unfortunately if you realize that this is not the case, your search ends here! There is no way to be in relation with somebody, who refuses to be actively part – every try to do so ends in abuse or/and self-abuse.
*) Make sure you are both totally honest about your core values and true needs in a relationship. That one actually can be tricky. If you socially meet new people or start a new relationship with the hope to maintained and carried it ahead, it is actually pretty simple to get what you need. You just need to be clear on your own needs and values – Clarity Attracts!! With your family members, long term friends and married couples its a bit more complex. When you met, you might not have been very grown up on a spiritual level of your evolution. So it is more likely that pattern mixed that you are unaware of.
My advice is: meet in a relaxed space of your home, light a candle have nice smell, meditate a little while together and than sit down and agree on topics for a writing meditation. The meditation is to detect your true values and needs, as they are TODAY. Be brave, choose things like how safe really feel with the partner, how much mental – emotional – practical help you need, if you truly can feel each other, values how children should be raised….
Sit down separated from another and write as long as it takes, as detailed as possible and as truthful as you can – even if it hurts or you feel scared or frustrated while you are writing. When ever both are done – exchange the papers. Make sure you give each other time and space to read and digest the information in separated physical space.
From there on you know what you are dealing with, and if the two people present in this relationship share the values required.*) This might sound funny but ancient tantric teachings and science found out, that human being have basically four different ways how they are able to receive love. Means, there are four energetic gateways of connection inside of us, for natural recognition and acceptance of love. When somebody does the – for the individual RIGHT THING – it is immediately stored as “received love today from…” deep inside our being. Of course the borders are a bit fluent and you might find yourself between two expressions. It also can feel right to list them in importance. All of that is true. True Love always starts with ourselves!! So find out how you are able to receive love … Think about it, feel it, allow the past to come up and see, why situations could not work out with one or the other person you loved so much!!
*) Logical next step, find out how all your beloved once are able to receive love … If we truly love by heart, not only love the movie of our past with a person or the feeling they bring into our world, but love from a place that is giving and sharing, over-floating in abundance – than we naturally want to give the other exactly what they express as their need. Do it and your bound will grow stronger while spirited with more freedom than ever!
*) Seek to inspire each other again!! Remember how it felt when yo met your best friend, your dearest college your long-term partner! The endless talks, the sharing of things that inflame your passion, the fearlessness to talk about yourself with out expectation to be understood or pampered. Try it out for one day and look at every person you seam to KNOW WELL – with the eyes of a stranger, and ask questions you never thought of before. You might be surprised how much more there is to people, that where boxed up already 😉 by the mind.
*) Create time for talks in a sacred manner! Especially when we know people since a while or live with them, our mind can easily be tricked into the idea we would know them and know everything about them. That is a deathly assumption for a relationship. We always know only so little fractures of another being, that we have to be brave and ask questions – instead of assuming we would KNOW the answer already.
Take each a little time for a meditation and than meet. Great each other – maybe with an intimate hug, a namaste, a shy smile – what every is truthful to the character of your relationship! Create a little circle with stones or crystals, balloons or any other item of your choice. Sit down in front of each other and talk about yourself!! How you feel, what you need, how you experienced situations between each other – no blame, no judgement, no guilt!! Always only one person is talking!! Try to hear the other in order to understand them – not in order to be immediately ready with a reply. To the contrary – allow the “energy of the spoken word” to stay in the room and sink into your awareness, before you start answering at all. Make that a culture in your relations and the level of intimacy, relaxation and happiness you can experience together are, at least for me, not even possible to describe!!*) Create space in your life for sensual encounter. Sensuality and Sexuality might be relate to another, but are in character profoundly different. Sexuality is intensively activating our energies and pushes them to rise. Sensuality mostly calms us. A sensual touch without intention, gives us time to sink in and hangout with our own body. Sensuality nurtures us till the core of our soul – sexuality not always! So with the partner take time for sensuality only and you will feel much deeper connected! And for yourself – allow this differentiation and you will feel more freedom to share intimacy, with more people than only your partner. So hug the hell out of your friends, let a dog poppy lick your face or cuddle the neighbors baby. It does not matter how, just allow yourself abundance in being nurtured by others touch!!!
I wish you courage and strength, purity and inner guidance when you go out there to be brave and create authentic, truthful, intimate relations with ALL YOUR WORLD!!!
In Gratitude for our Relationship!
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Investigating the “Impossible”
About 40 years ago, a group of microbiologists, behavioral scientists, and medical doctors in laboratories from UCLA to Russia proposed, based on their carefully conducted, independent studies, a completely heretical idea: that the brain, immune, and hormonal systems were connected — and that emotions had a major influence on the body.
They were completely laughed at by the scientific and medical community. Some were denied tenure. They were sometimes shut out of university laboratories for their “psychological nonsense.” Nevertheless, they persisted with the idea, and with their tenacity and vision, as well as years of careful research in the laboratory, founded the field that we now know as psychoneuroimmunology, or PNI.
Fortunately for us, these scientists persisted — and paved a path that has had tremendous impact on our understanding of health and medicine. Forty years later, the fact that the nervous system, the immune system, and the endocrine system are connected is now a given, and nearly every day we are reading about exciting developments in these fields, such as the contributions of the vagus nerve in immune and brain communication, and the recent paper in Nature reporting the existence of functional lymphatic vessels in the brain — something that again, was thought to be impossible. We’ve learned about the power of our own emotional states on our immunity — and how our mental state plays a role in certain disease risks — in some cases, even helping predict how long we live.
Hacking the Body Electric
In parallel with these advances in PNI, we are seeing a rise in bioelectromagnetic medicine — including brain stimulation. These new devices — based on the mapping of the body’s responses to magnetic and electrical stimulation — are being heralded as the “Future of Medicine” — and some show tremendous promise in helping forward better treatment of certain diseases.
Unfortunately, the devices that could mitigate diseases, can also serve to disempower us, if used improperly. The fervor for these devices doesn’t just stop at finding new solutions for cancer or Alzheimer’s disease — corporate interests are pushing the development of devices down to “fixing” our mood and even our eating patterns. Feeling sad or out of sorts, or need to obliterate that hunger craving? No problem, a brain zap can fix that. There are plenty of folks ready to sell you such devices, whether or not they actually are based on sound scientific evidence. Some people are also creating DIY brain stimulation devices for home use to treat depression and enhance attention, which is not safe.
Is the “New Medicine” really based on Ancient Medicine?
While industry focuses on devices that can be sold as the next new medicine, some scientists have been uncovering the effects of ancient medicine — mind-body-spirit practices such as yoga, meditation, tai-chi and even energy healing on psychological, neural, immune, and endocrine outcomes for patients including those with PTSD, cancer, and cardiovascular disease.
The interesting thing is that the health impact of these practices, which have been part of global cultures for thousands of years, were mapped out long ago by the sages that had discovered and shared them. The described “mechanism of action” circulated around the understanding that these are spiritual practices that have a strong influence on the subtle energy system (part of what we now call in the West the “Biofield”), and through refining ourselves spiritually, positive shifts occur in our emotional, mental and physical well-being.
Sadly, because of the emphasis on materialism in science and medicine, “spirit” is still considered a dirty word and is generally taboo for research and discussion. The study of “biofield” is not so far behind in the ridicule line, despite the basic science and clinical research demonstrating effects of the biofield on health, as is now being shown with bioelectronic medicine. In fact, industry is now in a race to begin mapping out the electromagnetic readouts of the body — one aspect of the biofield — but only to develop devices that can be bought and sold for mitigating disease symptoms.
The Future of Medicine is Up to Us
However, similar to the collaborations and dedication that resulted in the new field and advances of psychoneuroimmunology, a group of scientists as well as practitioners in diverse disciplines (including physics, biophysics, microbiology, psychology, endocrinology, technology, medicine, contemplative practice and the healing arts), are joining together to collectively advance the totality of understanding on the role of the consciousness in healing, including mapping the impact of mind-body-spirit practices on the biofield and health. This group of scientists, practitioners, and educators, who are part of the Consciousness and Healing Initiative, are ready to take the bold steps needed to rigorously ask and answer the harder questions — what is the role of our own consciousness in influencing our biology? How deeply can we guide and facilitate our own healing through our emotions, behavior, social, and spiritual connections, and how can we harness these effects to promote better health for ourselves, our communities and our planet? Scientific research that examines us as the agents of change for our own healing, would help to herald a true shift in the practice of medicine.
With these new advances in science, we have a choice to shape the new paradigm in health and medicine. We can choose to watch as industry dollars utilize scientific advances to advance the next wave of Big Pharma, or we can choose to support research that will irrefutably map the impact of our consciousness on our own health, so that we can better directly heal ourselves and prevent disease before it starts. We must choose not to lose the psyche in psychoneuroimmunology, and support the research and education that will truly empower our own health and healing, to usher in the real Future of Medicine.
What the f….- what are we talking about. How can this possible be simple a “shady business decision”. This is a crime and has to be treaten as such! Why is still nothing happening about companies like Bayer?? Here in Guatemala they get rid of their industrial trash – poisoning the ground with their chemical left overs!! WE HAVE TO BE ACTIVISTS TO MAKE OUR NEW WORLD AND STOP THEM NOW!
I actually thought this was pretty common knowledge, until I googled this headline trying to find mainstream discussion of it. Although it is covered well on Wikipedia, and there is a single article at the New York Times, very few news sources seem to be discussing the topic. Alas, there appears to be very little coverage of this well documented and ethically unacceptable decision by Bayer to sell HIV contaminated blood to countries in Asia and South America without informing them of the risk or taking any steps to prevent infection.
A recent study from 2014, better described a form of research audit, by Professor Leeman McHenry from California State University uncovered and further documented details of this shady business decision. The abstract paints a morbid picture: executives decided to ignore health risks in their antihemophilic blood products (AHF) when they were discovered to be contaminated by the HIV virus. Instead of doing the right thing and getting rid of or at least informing the buyers, Bayer executives in their Cutter Biomedical branch remained tight-lipped and sold the contaminated blood to uninformed buyers overseas.
The year this happened was 1985, and Bayer was completely aware that the products were contaminated, which is why they were sold in less developed markets, the NYT article describes this as “steering the riskier overseas.” When the FDA discovered this, according to the New York Times article, they decided NOT to inform the medical community or congress. Ironically, this type of behavior in the face of unethical behavior or even outright corruption is still commonplace in the FDA.
Why didn’t this make a bigger splash, why doesn’t this information come up on any of the first pages when you google Bayer and HIV together? The answer is simple: there is limited financial incentive for people to write about this, and much more financial incentive for Bayer to largely bury this story. In fact, burying a story may be accomplished by a company simplying paying for Google keywords related to the story, and pushing “sterilized” articles that don’t touch on the actual scandal or matter at hand. There was a law suit regarding the HIV contamination in 2003, but nothing ever came from it.
The only way we can circumvent these efforts to obscure the truth, to hide scandal, to hide corruption, is through direct communication. By talking to and informing others of what we find out, by supplying them with the sources to do their own confirmation, we not only inform them but set an example they are scientifically likely to follow.
Here is the exact timeline from the early 1980s, as listed in the NYT articles:
JULY 1982 — Centers for Disease Control reports three hemophiliacs ill with what later became known as AIDS and warns that the disease may be transmitted through blood products including concentrate.
JANUARY 1983 — A Cutter official warns in a letter that ”there is strong evidence to suggest that AIDS is passed on to other people through . . . plasma products.”
JUNE 1983 — Cutter complains to overseas distributors about ”unsubstantiated speculations” linking AIDS to concentrate.
FEBRUARY 1984 — Cutter gets license in the United States to sell new concentrate that has been heated to kill H.I.V.
OCTOBER 1984 — C.D.C. says a study with Cutter found that heat treatment kills the AIDS virus. Prototype H.I.V. test finds 74 percent of hemophiliacs who used unheated concentrate tested positive for H.I.V.
NOVEMBER 1984 — Cutter notes excess inventory of unheated product. ”Will review international markets” to see if more unheated product can be sold.
NOVEMBER 1984 — The company tells its Hong Kong distributor ”we must use up stocks” of unheated medicine before switching to ”safer, better” heat-treated product.
FEBRUARY 1985 — A Cutter task force asks in a memo, ”Can we in good faith continue to ship nonheat-treated coagulation products to Japan?”
APRIL 1985 — Cutter considers trying ”to influence a delay in introduction of heattreated product” in Japan. The company later says it did not act on that suggestion.
MAY 1985 — Cutter tells its Hong Kong distributor that the unheated medicine poses no ”severe hazard.”
MAY 1985 — Cutter says Hong Kong doctors question whether it is selling off ”excess stocks of old AIDS-tainted” medicine.
MAY 1985 — The Food and Drug Administration realizes that companies are still selling unheated concentrate overseas. F.D.A. official wants problem ”quietly solved without alerting the Congress, the medical community and the public,” according to Cutter documents.
Sanango , Izabal, Guatemala
Thank you so much hermano Sanango from the Sinchi Runa Center in Izabal, for this beautiful article. I totally agree with him on the need for a good preparation, a deep personal understanding of the process, a good mental and physical health state and lots and lots of transparency in the communication with the facilitator/assistant. Each of this parts are important for the success of a session. For the integration I watched the following: with every day you spend in a loving self-embrace; with smoothing, self-love evoking, balancing and harmonizing music; breathing deeply and consciously, while planting seeds of positive thought pattern – the deeper roots of your past (this and every other life on the spiral dance of creation), your destructive pattern and emotional body, the medicine can reach and shift in vibration. This can go on for days and days after the ceremonial encounter – totally depending on your invested degree of awareness, attention, devotion, surrender and passion. REMEMEBER – we talk about engaging in a relationship with a spirit!
I saw similarity in our few about finding the right helper match, which made me smile. I believe in guidance and the good of obeying the free will! So for me it is: 1st let the medicine call you! Feel a pull – in best case more than one’s – feel attracted, sense passion that comes from within, sense nervousness similar to stage fright….All of this are excellent signs of a “call” from your spirit guides. As next step, you can take full responsibility for yourself by clearing deep inside, what you might need in your servant. From there you are well equipped, to choose – from the heart – your work partner for the process. As a last step: with your feet on the ground, make a leap of faith, trust your choice of person and trust the process! 🙂
I found myself laughing out loud, when he calls the Ayahuasca a “des hallucinatory substance” :-).. AHO – I soooo agree!! The nice colors, the geometries and sounds are lovely and amazing also very good for the emotional body – as they are of high vibration and can fill up our “feel good account”. But they are barely a blue print of each individuals soul potential . A blueprint that wants to be manifested into our materialized world – in the alchemical wedding of your spirit in human action. The deep healing, the creational existence of self, the endlessness, we find in the layers beyond.
Isn’t it funny, that even the physical body in compressed form proves to contain 99% emptiness :-)…
Love and Blessings
There are many indications against taking ayahuasca. At the physical level, the most important is a major cardiovascular disorder. Problems could be caused not so much through the biochemical action of the brew, but through the stress caused by the intense work or circumstance that might come with the session. An ayahuasca session is a great opportunity, but demands a lot of mental and physical strength, for which it is important to have a history free of cardiovascular complications.
At the mental level, there are individuals with serious emotional problems that may hinder the dynamic of the session. These emotional problems can be expressed in daily life by uncontrollable impulses, states of explosive anger or deep states of loss of control. If the participant suffers from so-called black outs or have been diagnosed with a psychiatric mental disorder, a prior personal consultation is needed before the session to evaluate the inner state.
Moreover, there are situations such as addictions or consumption of psychiatric drugs to take into account. If the participant is using any kind of substance, it is very important to have a prior detoxification period. This is preferably done in the center that will realize the ayahuasca session. The use of substances such as cocaine or dopamine stimulants requires a detox period that can vary from 15 to 30 days before the intake of the plant. If the participant discards this indication and wishes to attend a session without disclosing data regarding these issues, it signifies a lack of understanding. Such a participant does not realize the type of medicine that ayahuasca is and will not be ready to participate in a session.
The attitude of the participant seeking their own search for truth, trust, transparency towards himself and to the process, is the most important thing in front of an ayahuasca session or any kind of spiritually based healing.
If the participant is not clear of what type of process he is approaching and has information based only through the impact of online videos, seeking a psychedelic experience or only expecting to receive lights and colorful shapes that can cause great excitement. If the expectation is a spectacular trip or a magic potion, the participant should not drink ayahuasca.
It is important to understand that the mission and spirit of ayahuasca is to heal through comprehension. The great opportunity of humanity with this entheogen is to surpass the barrier of the mind and go beyond the illusion of the state of alertness to obtain wisdom of the universe.
Ayahuasca is not an hallucinogen, is a des hallucinatory substance. Ayahuasca is a portal to the essence of humanity, a portal where memories of the species can be opened. This opening can bring understanding of the higher self and the purpose of each one, not only as an individual, but as humanity. Ayahuasca is a chance to heal the soul and reach the truth that lives within each one.
It is very important that the guide is honest and truthful. Do not take ayahuasca with guides who have new age speeches or messianic ideas. Make sure that the guide or facilitator is not improvising and that has really done a deep work of personal comprehension or a discipular spiritual path. It is advisable to analyze the ethical level of the guide or facilitator, the profusion of “shamans”, “avatars”, “guardians of the medicine” and other bizarre characters is something to avoid when choosing where and with whom to take ayahuasca. An apparent native guide or facilitator does not guarantee anything. Not be swayed by prejudice or pre concepts, neither believe in “shamans”, “natives”, who lives in cities or that are characters full of names or egotistical self-imposed titles.
If you have financial constraints, it is best to wait to fix them. Never make a decision based on finding the cheapest option. Do not trust sessions that only ask for a “collaboration” or are “free”, these are usually desperate acts of the guide or facilitator and is generally a lack of transparency. It is recommended to not do sessions carried out in cities or proceeding from them, in which the guide or facilitator is a multi-task professional.
A genuine ayahuasca ceremony requires a prior preparation, a purge and a preliminary assessment. It is recommended that ayahuasca sessions be done preferably in a center in the jungle or in the countryside where the participant can disconnect from the everyday world. It is recommended to rest after the experience and make the space to take it seriously.
If the participant has a big schedule which is more important compared to the healing process and the session is one of the many experiences of the itinerary, the participant definitely should not take ayahuasca.
The participant must make a careful choice, free of cultural preconceptions, making the proper space and having the respect it deserves. If the previous points are not taken into account, one should not take Ayahuasca.
The best practice to decide where and with whom to do a session is to listen to one’s heart. It is easy to see who is real or not, this is very important when making this decision.
The participant has a decision to make this experience a chance of understanding something far beyond anything imagined. It’s the opportunity to open the heart, mind and being to the universe. The session is an opportunity to heal and be healed through the compassion of the universe. If the participant reaches humility and pureness of heart, it may understand the most important thing of their existence.
Hey you! Did you know that you’re very special? There is no other person in this world like you. You deserve to be loved not only by those around you but by the most important person in your life — YOU. Practicing self-love can be challenging for many of us, especially in times when we face serious challenges. It’s not about being self-absorbed or narcissistic, it’s about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our happiness. We practice self-love so we can push through our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines.
So do yourself a favor, take a deep breath, give yourself a little hug and start practicing the following:
- Start each day by telling yourself something really positive. How well you handled a situation, how lovely you look today. Anything that will make you smile.
- Fill your body with food and drink that nourishes it and makes it thrive.
- Move that gorgeous body of yours every single day and learn to love the skin you’re in. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.
- Don’t believe everything you think. There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life.
- Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you. Let them remind you just how amazing you are.
- Stop the comparisons. There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you.
- End all toxic relationships. Seriously. Anyone who makes you feel anything less than amazing doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life.
- Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved.
- Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. It’s incredible the feeling we get when we realize we have achieved something we didn’t know or think we could do before.
- Embrace and love the things that make you different. This is what makes you special.
- Realize that beauty cannot be defined. It is what you see it as. Don’t let any of those Photoshopped magazines make you feel like your body isn’t perfect. Even those models don’t look like that in real life.
- Take time out to calm your mind every day. Breathe in and out, clear your mind of your thoughts and just be.
- Follow your passion. You know that thing that gets you so excited but scares you at the same time. The thing you really want to do but have convinced yourself it won’t work. You should go do that!
- Be patient but persistent. Self-love is ever evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times.
- Be mindful of what you think, feel and want. Live your life in ways that truly reflect this.
- Treat others with love and respect. It makes us feel better about ourselves when we treat others the way we hope to be treated. That doesn’t mean everybody will always repay the favor, but that’s their problem not yours.
- Find something to be grateful for every day. It’s inevitable that you are going to have your down days. This is fine and very human of you. It’s especially important on these days to find at least one thing you are grateful for as it helps to shift your mind and energy around what’s going on.
- Reach out to family, friends, healers, whomever you need to help you through the tough times. You are not expected to go through them alone.
- Learn to say no. Saying no sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a smart person.
- Forgive yourself. You know that thing you did one time (or maybe a few times) that made you feel bad, embarrassed, ashamed? It’s time to let that go. You can’t change the things you have done in the past but you can control your future. Look at it as a learning experience and believe in your ability to change.
- Write it down. Head swimming with so many thoughts it’s giving you a headache? Write them all down on a piece of paper, no matter how crazy, mean, sad, or terrifying they are. Keep it in a journal, tear it up, burn it, whatever you need to do to let it go.
- Turn off and inwards. Grab a cup of your favorite tea, coffee, wine, whatever your choice of drink, and sit down for a few minutes on your own. No TV or distractions, just you. Think about the wonderful things that are happening in your life right now, what your big dreams are and how you can make them happen.
- Give up the need for approval from others. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” – Dita Von Teese
- Be realistic. There is no person on this earth that is happy every single moment of every single day. You know why? Because we are all human. We make mistakes, we feel emotions (good and bad) and this is OK. Allow yourself to be human.
- Get creative and express yourself in whatever way you like. Painting, writing, sculpting, building, music, whatever takes your fancy, and make sure you leave your inner critic at the door. There are no right ways to be creative.
- Let go of past trauma and wounds. This can be a really tough one and it may be one of those times you need to turn to others for support. The truth is though, when we let go of things that have happened to us it’s almost like a weight is lifted off our shoulders. We don’t have to carry that around with us anymore. We deserve better.
- Find your happy place. Where’s the one place you feel totally at ease, calm, happy, positive, high on life? Go to that place when you are going through hard times, or imagine yourself being there. Think about how it feels, what it smells like, what it looks like.
- The next time you are feeling happy and on top of the world make a list of your best qualities and accomplishments. It may sound a little corny, but it can be a wonderful reminder when you are having a day that’s less than amazing.
- Get in touch with your inner dialogue. If it’s anything less than loving, encouraging and supportive, it’s time to make a change. You deserve to be spoken to in the same way you would speak to your best friend, sister, brother, daughter, or son.
- Have fun! Get out there and do the things that light your fire. Enjoy them, enjoy being you and enjoy your incredible life.
I feel better already 🙂
We’re starting to catch on. Overall we’re becoming savvier.
We’re starting to understand that resolutions don’t have a whole lot of meaning if you make them just to make them — or because you think you’re supposed to.
Especially if you’re trying to pile on more duties, obligations, and responsibilities to an already overstuffed, over-stressed, and jam-packed life. Who’s got room for that?
So not only do you end up further away from that goal you committed to, but on top of that you’re pissed off at yourself for backing down on yet another self-made promise.
Next thing you know, that well-intention-ed New Year’s Resolution has turned into a double whammy of additional stress in your life.
Okay we’re starting to get it: Doing more is not the solution.
But it’s not as simple as just doing less either. It’s not just about subtraction. Trust me. I tried that, too.
When I was feeling burnt out, I would give myself permission to just “be lazy” at home or on the couch. But that tended to backfire on me as well.
Ten hours later and 13 episodes into a Netflix binge-watching session, I would find myself feeling guilty — like I was doing something wrong the whole time. It kept me from truly enjoying my relaxation attempts, and it certainly didn’t refresh me.
That’s when I realized that de-stressing is more than just a matter of taking breaks and ceasing your normal chores and activities.
It also matters what you are feeding yourself in the meantime — what you choose as a substitute for the time you may have otherwise spent mindlessly scrolling through your Facebook news feed (or other activities that put the guilty in the term guilty pleasure).
So what’s the solution? If you ask me, it’s not any one thing. In fact you can approach it from multiple angles:
- Do less.
- Stress (way) less.
- Stand still more. Long enough to catch your breath.
- Then when you’re ready, feed yourself. Fill yourself back up with whatever you need at that particular point.
Need a recovery or a refill on that tank you feel has been on empty for some time now? Go fill it up. Not feeling like your beautiful, confident, and good-vibed self? Go find her and feed her. Feeling disconnected from those you love, those that make you laugh, or the people that just ‘get’ you? Go find them and plug yourself back in.
Feeling caged in, stagnant, stuck in a certain place in your life (whether geographically or metaphorically)? Get out. Find different scenery. Change your environment. Transform your state. Smell different air. Tickle your taste buds a different color. Pop in a new soundtrack.
Feeling the weight of all the things you haven’t gotten to, all the loops still left open, all the stress of the plates in the air that need spinning? Set them down. Give yourself permission to let yourself stand still and be wherever you are.
That is my double-dog dare for you for 2015:
Do less. Be more.
Imagine what would happen if just one day a week you practiced doing less and being more? It’s actually easier than you think.
Here Are 62 Ways To Help You Make That A Reality:
- 1. Ditch the itinerary. Take the day as it comes.
- 2. Ditch the decision-making. Let your mind wander away for a bit, and you’ll be shocked at how easy your decision becomes.
- 3. Ditch the solution-based thinking. Rest that beautiful brain of yours.
- 4. Ditch the criticism, and harsh judgments about yourself. Vow to treat yourself like your own personal B.F.F . That inner-critic can be brutal.
- 5. Ditch the boundaries, constraints, and rules that you normally place upon yourself. Save those time, logistic, and creative constraints for the other six days of the week.
- 6. Ditch the wire. Unplug from technology, make yourself unreachable, or switch that phone off. It’s amazing what happens next.
- 7. Ditch the guilt. What you did or didn’t do is a-okay.
- 8. Ditch the shame. Who or where you are right now is exactly where you’re ‘supposed to’ be.
- 9. Ditch the blame. Reasons, justifications, explanations, or assigning fault won’t change what happened. Just accept it and let it be there.
- 10. Ditch the comparison. What you should’a, would’a, could’a done. Who or where you should be, would be, could be by now. What he’s doing. What she’s doing. What they’re doing. It doesn’t have to make a difference to you.
- 11. Rest your brain. Decision-making, problem-solving, communication, movement, making sure you’re alive. It’s got a lot on its plate. Let it catch up.
- 12. Free your mind. Feelings. Emotions. Thoughts. Words. Internal conversations. They are happening all the time.
- 13. Release your heart. That tug coming from yourself or from someone else. Give your heart a day to rest.
- 14. Feed your soul. It’s seeking connection, spirituality, culture, self-actualization, growth, evolution, belonging. Listen to it. It’s always telling you something.
- 15. Oil your joints. They move your body and create motion. Just like the Tin-Man did, those joints of yours need some love.
- 16. Chat with your muscles. They move your joints and create power and force every time you move. Treat them to some rejuvenation.
- 17. Talk to your tissues. They pad, protect, buffer, and connect you to the rest of yourself. Your fascia, your fat, and everything in between can partake in conversations. Learn how right here.
- 18. Acknowledge your organs. They pump, pulse, inhale, exhale, regulate, process, digest, and ‘keep a watchful eye’ 24/7. Those little workhorses need a break too.
- 19. Hone in your senses. Listen to glorious music. Feel the sand under your toes. Experience delicious aromas. They sky is the limit when it comes to tickling your senses. There’s the five you learned about when you were a kid, and then a bunch of others that comprise your sensory system (like detecting balance, temperature, pressure, and pain). Play around.
- 20. Feed your gut. It’s responsible for more than just digestion. It plays a major role in mood and well-being. Fuel your body as well as your hunger.
- 21. Connect through conversation. There’s nothing quite like connecting with your words, your thoughts, your beliefs. Hear and be heard. Listen and speak.
- 22. Actually LOL. (That means “laugh out loud” if you’re reading this, mom.) Whether it’s recalling old memories with a friend or giggling over a “That’s what she said joke,” laughter lights you up and sets you free.
- 23. Connect intimately. You can create intimacy with or without sex.
- 24. Have an orgasm. Need I say more?
- 25. Cuddle or spoon. You never need an excuse to cuddle. Or spoon.
- 26. Connect with your body. Your body is your partner-in crime for the rest of your life whether you like it or not, so if you need to, start waving the white flag and talk to it.
- 27. Connect with your senses. (See #19)
- 28. Connect with your soul, your spirituality, your faith, or your core values. Get grounded. Connect with your truest self, your connection to the universe, and the parts of you that make your spirit fly.
- 29. Connect with your well-being, your mood, your happiness. It’s always nice to connect with others, but being able to find your own ‘brand’ of happiness all by your lonesome is priceless.
- 30. Connect with your creativity. You’re never too old, too busy, or too rusty to break out some watercolors, belt out a karaoke tune, put pen to paper, dance, create, or pull your own magic out of thin air.
- 31. Connect with nature. Fresh air. Cool breeze on your face. A change of scenery or altitude. And a little self-reminder that this planet we call Earth is truly a miraculous wonder.
- 32. Connect with animals. Because we all could learn a thing or two about ourselves simply from being around animals. Mammals especially.
- 33. Connect with movement. Most people don’t realize how precious their bodies are until it’s injured or taken away in some capacity. You don’t need a planned workout or anything formal to move your body the way it was designed to move. Dance like no one’s watching, run around outside like a carefree child, or simply connect in sync with every inhale and exhale. Humans were designed to move.
- 34. Dance: (Please refer to #33)
- 35. Connect with music. Because the rhythm is gonna get you.
- 36. Make a list of everything that you can do in two minutes or less. If it only takes two minutes, you’ll get more out of it than you put in, and two-minute tasks can really add up.
- 37. Batch, chunk, and plan your tasks and to-dos for maximal efficiency for the future. Put like tasks with like tasks, and set your brain up for more focused work in the future.
- 38. Organize, clean, Feng Shui, rearrange, create good vibes in your environments. It’s amazing how a clean, organized environment can change your state of mind.
- 39. Remind yourself, recount, or recall things you may have forgotten. It’s impossible to remember every thought, task, or ah-ha without a little reminder or trigger to help you out.
- 40. Decide that today’s the day to forgive yourself. No you don’t need to keep punishing yourself.
- 41. Decide that today’s the day to forgive someone else. Perhaps it’s finally time.
- 42. Declare that today’s a new day. A cat nap or a good night’s sleep can make any day seem like Day 1 again.
- 43. Decide that today’s the first day of a new week. Fresh starts can renew us. And no it doesn’t have to start on a Monday.
- 44. Hit the reset button and declare it a new month, a new year, or any new allotment of time that moves you. We all have those periods of time we want to wipe clean or start fresh on. You don’t need to wait for December 31st to roll around to make that happen.
- 45. Hit the reset button on your relationship with someone else. Sometimes it’s necessary, whether it’s a beginning or an end.
- 46. Hit the reset button on your relationship with yourself. You can be whoever and whatever you say you are. Draw the proverbial line in the sand (whether it’s marking a beginning or an end) and start being who you truly are and truly want to be.
- 47. Give yourself permission to spend time exploring. You don’t need to know why or where it’s heading. Let yourself be curious and interested.
- 48. Give yourself permission to say no.
- 49. Give yourself permission to not please everyone. It’s a great opportunity to ask yourself what pleases you.
- 50. Give yourself permission to resign or walk away. It doesn’t make you a quitter.
- 51. Give yourself permission to press pause on something you need a break from. You can always press play again when you’re ready.
- 52. Give yourself permission to act like a kid. Let the kid who lives inside of you (who lives inside all of us) come out.
- 53. Give yourself permission to play. Don’t worry whether or not you look good, look cool, or perform well at it. Just play to play.
- 54, Give yourself permission to be silent.
- 55, Give yourself permission to be still.
- 56, Give yourself permission to be plenty. You’ve done enough. You’ve given enough. You are enough. You’re plenty.
- 57. Give yourself permission to feel beautiful, desirable, lovable, and wanted. Nope it doesn’t make you cocky or overly confident.
- 58. Give yourself permission to live powerfully, passionately, and purposefully. Don’t worry if it makes you seem dreamy, lofty, or weird.
- 59. Give yourself permission to create something. You have some sort of creativity within you. We all do. You just need to find it.
- 60. Give yourself permission not to explain yourself. You don’t have to feel like you owe anyone anything.
- 61. Give yourself permission to do everything on this list in your own time, as it serves your life.
- 62. Give yourself permission to just be. Just be and breathe.
Bottom line: Most of us don’t have the space in our lives to go make extra commitments, promises, or resolutions.
For a lot of you, doing so would simply add more stress to your life.
So what if 2015 really was different for you?
What if you stressed less?
What if you filled your cup back up, little by little, drop by drop, week by week?
What if you created connection in your life that didn’t involve your smartphone?
What if you divided and conquered the duties in your life instead of letting your life divide you?
What if you hit the reset button and gave yourself a fresh start or perspective?
What if you gave yourself permission to simply let yourself live — to experience all the fun and possibility in your life that exists outside of all the stress and running around?
What if you simply decided to do less and be more?
I double-dog dare ya!
Leanne Ellington is a writer, a mad scientist, a storyteller, an ambidextrous hoolah-hooper, and wholeheartedly believes that peanut butter should become the fifth food group. Her career started after she personally lost over 100 lb. of fat and then went on to help other women do the same thing through her weekly television segments, award-winning corporate wellness programs, and women’s fitness studio.
Posted: 01/08/2015 8:20 am EST, Leanne Ellington, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/leanne-ellington/the-1-stressor-youll-most_b_6404822.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living