the other day I received a message from the magnificent Barbara Franken, presenting the idea to me of sharing my personal understanding of what compassion means to me, and how I live my awareness. I was immediately interested in being part of this lovely new creation of hers. The attraction of expressing my way of living compassion in this world right away had its hand on me, and than I found myself realizing that „there is no simple one word answer to this question“.
Maybe because true compassion is a feeling that is build out of many layers of understanding self, and allowing this understanding to infiltrate our behavior with others. Or maybe because all simple things in life – are multidimensional in how we perceive and experience them.
From the heart I would say that in me, the feeling of compassion triggers the wish to assist others with my actions. This actions can have a range as wide as sitting silently next to a friend, in order to let him/her know that they are seen and accepted with what ever is going on; to quietly praying for the collective and beloved ones or can be standing up and speaking out for people, animals and environment – who have no voice in the current world games.
The capacity to naturally act on all of this impulses, I have gained thru years of very committed and disciplined spiritual practice, a growing understanding what self-love truly means, and an iron will to overcome all my limitations. But non of it would have been effective, if self-compassion would not have guided my eye, while looking at others.
And this self-compassion took me a long way to learn. You see when I was a child, I had a mainly absent father – out to travel all week and earn the family’s income (very stereo type haha), and my mother was a person who would work and push thru every physical, mental or emotional pain you can possibly imagine.
She did so to such an extend, that I actually thru all my childhood considered her being a very cruel person. Her individual mix of personal history, a natural B-Sides of the numerological vibration of 18/9 – which she represents, and most of all – a total refusal to grow spiritually.
One day, I was about 8years old, I watched her splitting wood in the seller. She slipped with the ax, cut deeply into her meaty knee, took quietly a deep in-breath; than simply removed the ax – put a bandage on her blood dripping knee and continued. As a little child, that was a real time horror shocker to me! And it made me scared to my bones, as for imagining what she could do to my body when in rage. An emotional state that she was not shy of expressing in physical violence.Now in her world, that is totally understandable and somehow ok. She is born in Graz, Austria, in the year 1931. She was 7 years old when the second world war in Austria started – an age where very important energetic gateways often are closing for the individual human; as we choose to identify stronger with the material world than with the spiritual realm. And there her focus already got re-directed from hopefully, happily living a child’s life, to „survival of the fittest is the rule of the game“.
So while she transitioned into a more physical body bound mindset, the world around her was dominated by aggression, forceful dominance and the loss of human life’s. As she refused over all the 85 years she has spend so far on this planet, to consciously reflect her own behavior ever, all the pattern she has build back than are based on pure survival instinct, physical fear reactions and a constant need to defend.
To allow myself the freedom of seeing this bigger picture while holding my inner peace in direct interaction with her – for me is an expression of compassion for her and for myself.
But it would not have been possible for me to extend this hand to her, if I would not have done the painful and deeply challenging inner work of self-recognizing my own harmful and abusive pattern. A work of self-acceptance for my humaneness and the mistakes I made thru life – and still make right now. Profound work of forgiveness for all the harm created on unconscious levels – which now are understood, and a constant commitment to work on my own inner confusions in respect to my own gentle heart.
I first had to create this inner sanctuary space of accepting life on planet earth, excepting my flaws, accepting the ways I am learning about myself and spirit in this world, accepting that seeing my daily life very different than the human collective on this planet does right now – is not because I am damaged or weak – but because I am whole in my heart. Spending years of cultivating my mind and my emotional body, has now widened the field of where my compassion wants to flow. My personal capacity to take more and more of this worlds brother and sister existences into consideration, when I am making an important decision about „my life“.
So on another layer you probably could also say that compassion is „the human capacity for us to develop“, if we truly desire world peace and a sustainable humane life on the blue planet. It is Native American understanding, that we are here as guardians and guides of the land and all its creatures. And I belief it is time we all together start acting on that. Time to approach life from a place of compassionate awareness for each others needs and respect for the future, our children desire to have!!Remember: „We’re all just walking each other home.” – Ram Dass
Love and Blessings!
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