I am sure some of you still remember that in February together with the Mars retrograde phase, a big collective healing of the divine masculine body occurred for all of humanity. That was such a strong impact, which shifted so many peoples life profoundly, that by now many of us feel the energies have translated into different life situations that make us understand the steps we took. Back than, the energetic field invited us to concentrate our focus on the healing of the inner child, and develop new ways to gain its lost powers back.
The healing and transforming triggers involved, have particularly been cycling around masculine role models and abuses that came from masculine authority figures. And working on the themes we detect connected to this triggers, each of us had the chance for a hug personal leap in consciousness. And so did I. Since a little while now, I had in mind to share with you the results I feel from this healing wave, and finally two days ago something happened that closed the circle within.
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To make sense of the following stories, I first need to share that I am the youngest child from a family of six. Three boys and three girls, lead by two emotionally immature parents with a quick tendency to react violently to disturbances of their daily routines. Born in 1931, they where seven years old when the second world war started in Austria, and fourteen years when it ended. An energy field that was deeply implanted in all their creation ways and reaction pattern. In their minds life naturally always is a fight, a thing to survive, a thing that only by force can be handled.
As one of the results of their daily examples, two off my brothers chose // as their usual communication ways, and one of my sisters is quite a strong bully – energetically, emotionally and with words. All my childhood I was scared of authority figures and failed my good share of tests in school, simply because of the pressuring energy field of my teachers.And while my personal healing path from all this impacts of my family line has begun about 15 years ago in my tantra training, there was still lots of freedom and personal power to gain from this massive wave of masculine love for all humanity.
It somehow started of for me by the end of November, when a former work college and neighbor of mine had delayed a delivery since 4 month and I felt rather trapped in a contract that was no longer aligned with my inner rhythms and cycles. I mad my soul searching, wrote a kind AND clear letter and explaining that the situation had several times caused trouble for my household, and that I will retreat from the purchase if not delivered by the middle of the month of December, as I wanted it all to be resolved by the end of the year 2015. The delivery finally arrived on the 23rd! I also had payed in advance and there was some money outstanding, I gave him some days and than asked for the final, so we can close the accounting together. Nothing came back until the 31st of December after midday, where the final arrived in my mailbox and the money at my door.
Looking at the numbers, I realized that just about every single item was overpriced to the original offer. So I wrote another letter asking for clarification. The answer I received was “Please you have to give me some time and be considerate with me, as I have a party to give today and do not want to think of business anymore!”… And there something very old in me snapped!
I realized that because of his genuine kindness and wish to help, I had allowed this man to pull on my energetic mother strings over and over again, tolerating a behavior that at the end for me personally created pain and suffering. So I decided that this is never gonna happen again in my life at all, no matter who the person is. I spend some time burning the energies that came up in the inner flame of my conscious alchemy and made my peace. I informed him that for me this is over and done for me. At the beginning of March I met him again on the street. Finally it was his time to acknowledge his actions, apologize and give some money back!
The next bigger impact came in December to my door. For me totally out of the blue, a town member exploded violently on me in a written threat, because he felt disturbed by us (me and my 4 dogs) passing on our morning walk his property on a public path. For him it created a noise problem, as he lives at his place with 10 dogs who are all in the garden over night. I was not thrilled being once again bullied with violence into functioning the way somebody aggressively demands.
Anyway, I decided to transform again all feelings that came up in my inner fire, and invited him for a talk to find solutions together. He refused with the words “you are the solution”. I gave him two month without passing or writing and than i contacted him again. I wanted to be sure he calmed down and see if we can talk. There was no change on his side.For me the picture was much bigger than walking or not walking by his house. I felt such an intense resistance to allow his violence to make a change to my life. I sensed that what he was actually saying was, “my life/creations/decisions are more important than yours, and if you don’t bow to this idea – I will violate you”!
I felt angry, hurt, bullied and also seriously frighten and at the same time, I knew that I can not let him get away with it. When the weeks passed and I never got a confirmation that he is taking back his threat, I made my peace and decision how to deal with the situation. On legal level I let him know that he would have to pay for a physically violent attack, on spiritual level I accepted even deeper that I can not change other peoples actions and that I rather chose to empower my freedom from all fears of human violence – than to bow.
In the middle of March I went on a little trip to the sea. I was sitting on the beach with the first street dog friend I made (a female), and watched quite amused the social interactions between the dogs. Within an hour we met about a docent different male dogs with every type of character. It was lot of fun how they approached one by one – some gentle and shy, others happily playful or proud and confident. Fun, till one came on rather aggressive. He did not come like all the others from the front or the side to my body, he came from behind. His energy field was not that of interest in us, but the try to domineer, frighten and bully us.
I sensed into the situation, connected with my deep breathing, and calmed my feelings of fear – that naturally had kicked in. I opened my third eye connection with the dog and told him that we are here peacefully united and do not appreciate the way he is talking to us. I told him he is welcome to join us and relax with us from being strong all the time. He took a minute to sense into the truthfulness of this information, changed his body language and walked over to calmly sit down next to us. Within another five minutes he signaled to feel safe enough with us, that I was invited to touch and comfort him too, an honor I felt very blessed an humbled by.Dear Ones, I hope you enjoyed the read and maybe could find one or the other result of your own, reflected in the words I shared. I will continue sharing my story tomorrow, with the hilarious experience how the moments with the street dogs of Monterricco immediately translated in the behavior of some guys at the beach ;-), and more conclusions about the changes I feel! Have a wonderful day!
Love and Blessings!!
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