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between Davie and Roberta,
I asked my mother why she persisted,
keep on having baby after baby.
at me, at a spot somewhere between my eyes,
blinked like I had suddenly fallen crazy.
She pause before answering
to confide would legitimize my fears.
She drew a deep breath, leaned against the chair,
I touched her hand and I thought
Instead she put baby Davie in my arms.
Patty, she said, it is a woman’s role.
I decided if it was my role,
THAT MADE ME THINK
I felt angry, frustrated.
I felt I did not belong, not in my church,
not in my home, not in my skin.
Amidst the chaos, I felt alone,
in need of a friend, someone detached from my world.
The “woman’s role” theory disgust me…
I would soon be a woman and I knew,
I could never perform as expected.
I was tiered of my mom’s submission
to her religion, her husband’s sick quest for a heir,
beneath the weight of dreams, smashed
I had seen them bow down before their husbands;
and that not only figuratively.
I had witnessed bone-chilling abuse,
no question, no help, no escape…
All in the hopes that when they die,
and reach up from the grave,
their husbands would grab hold, tug hard,
and allow them to enter heaven.
Dear Ones, don’t get me wrong I am not against the church in particular, any kind of organized believe system or group activities that support the communion with spirit, I am simply a sucker for equality! I would also not call myself a feminist, just a self-empowered woman – aware of her equal worth to the masculine manifested beings. We will not be able to create the harmony and balance needed to unite the divine masculine and the divine feminine powers in our hearts, if we do not address the abuses that are so deeply implanted into societies behavior pattern right now. And changing the concepts and believes behind organized religion, is one important station on the way!
Love and Blessings!!!
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